St. John Morris, The Bizarre Letters Of St John Morris Quotes

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St John had always been a fan of the RS Turbo, mainly due to the colour coded rear spoiler and air vents in the bonnet, which distinguished it from the more common and less powerful XR3i.

St. John Morris, The Bizarre Letters of St John Morris

Had the facial plumage been of a paler hue it would have looked like a pile of horse crap on a winter’s day.

St. John Morris, The Bizarre Letters of St John Morris

Her protestations were drowned out by the sound of Gordon Honeycomb barfing up aftershock into the kitchenette sink.

St. John Morris, The Bizarre Letters of St John Morris

You little prick. It's a whelk...it's a...it's a...dead whelk!

St. John Morris, The Bizarre Letters of St John Morris

A huge meringue with polio who drives everywhere in a beautifully restored Hillman Imp.

St. John Morris, The Bizarre Letters of St John Morris

Your toaster’s a puff.

St. John Morris, The Bizarre Letters of St John Morris