Terry Pratchett, Going Postal Quotes

Do you not know that a man is not dead while his name is still spoken?

I commend my soul to any god that can find it.

Did I do anything last night that suggested I was sane?

Speak softly and employ a huge man with a crowbar.

There was no safety. There was no pride. All there was, was money. Everything became money, and money became everything. Money treated us as if we were things, and we died.

Handle with care. Probably has Views. Do not attempt to kiss hand.

That was an important rule of any game: always make it easy for people to give you money.

Adora Belle fought back, and to make sure fought back even before she was attacked.

Time travel was only a kind of magic, after all. That's why it always went wrong.

Then he kept to the back streets, and found a place that did a very reasonable double sausage, egg, bacon and fried slice, in the hope that food could replace sleep.

Doesn't this place give you the creeps? You could perhaps do something with some floral wallpaper and a fire-bomb.

It's madness, of course', thought Moist. 'But now I've got it, too.

That's the fashion. Fast as the speed of light, they say. Ha! It's got no soul, sir, no heart.

Welcome to fear, said Moist to himself. It's hope, turned inside out. You know it can't go wrong, you're sure it can't go wrong...But it might.

It's always worrying to see a journalist take a sudden interest in what you're saying, especially when you half suspect it was a load of pigeon guano.