Terry Pratchett, The Color Of Magic Quotes

On the Disc the gods dealt severely with atheists.

Every intelligent being, whether it breathes or not, coughs nervously at some time in its life.

If I were you, I'd sue my face for slander.

No, what he didn't like about heroes was that they were usually suicidally gloomy when sober and homicidally insane when drunk.

On the Disc, the Gods aren't so much worshipped, as they are blamed.

I just think the world ought to be more sort of organized.''That's just fantasy, ' said Twoflower.'I know. That's the trouble.' Rincewind sighed again.

My personal theory is that he has a very firm grasp upon reality, it's simply not a reality the rest of us have ever met before.

The flip side of the coin of which Good and Evil are but one side.

The gods had a habit of going round to atheists' houses and smashing their windows.

Everyone has gods. You just don't think they're gods.

It tells him what to say. I know it sounds ridiculous, ” muttered Hugh.“How can a book tell a man what to say?

I kill in my own time, ” he said. “In any case, killing unconscious people isn’t right.”“I can’t think of a more opportune time, ” said the Loremaster.

I could use you—if you pass the tests, of course. There are three of them. You have passed the first.""What are the other—" Hrun paused, his lips moved soundlessly and then he hazarded, "two?

Falling isn’t so bad, you know. It’s only the landing that hurts.