Terry Pratchett Quotes
If you really want to upset a witch, do her a favor which she has no means of repaying. The unfulfilled obligation will nag at her like a hangnail.
The only really sane person in there is Igor, and possibly the turnip. And I'm not sure about the turnip.
It seems that when you have cancer you are a brave battler against the disease, but when you have Alzheimer's you are an old fart. That's how people see you. It makes you feel quite alone.
There are hardly any excesses of the most crazed psychopath that cannot easily be duplicated by a normal kindly family man who just comes in to work every day and has a job to do.
Adventure! People talked about the idea as if it were something worthwhile, rather than a mess of bad food, no sleep and strange people inexplicably trying to stick pointed objects in bits of you.
There are times when phrases such as 'totally astonished' just don't do the job. I am of course delighted and honoured and, needless to say, flabbergasted.
Most of the great triumphs and tragedies of history are caused not by people being fundamentally good or fundamentally evil, but by people being fundamentally people.
I do note with interest that old women in my books become young women on the covers... this is discrimination against the chronologically gifted.
There are many horrible sights in the multiverse. Somehow, though, to a soul attuned to the subtle rhythms of a library, there are few worse sights than a hole where a book ought to be.
He stared at his feet. “I’m still very ignorant,” he said, “but at least I’m ignorant about really important things.
"It would seem that you have no useful skill or talent whatsoever" he said. "Have you thought of going into teaching?"
In the end the problem isn't that you have the wrong sort of government for the People, but that you have the wrong sort of People.
You're allowed to grant people into the darkness, but you must allow them to come out again.
Experience has taught me that you feel better on a flight if you avoid chicken fat in plastic sauce.
There are thousands of good reasons why magic doesn't rule the world. They're called Witches and Wizards.
Just erotic. Nothing kinky. It's the difference between using a feather and using a chicken.
Even a really bad creator would at least have started with Earth, Air, Fire, Water and Surprise.
People don't like change. But make the change fast enough and you go from one type of normal to another.
What's a philosopher?' said Brutha. Someone who's bright enough to find a job with no heavy lifting,' said a voice in his head.
It was the heart of any scam or fiddle -- keep the punter uncertain, or, if he is certain, make him certain of the wrong thing.
Vimes had got around to a Clean Desk policy. It was a Clean Floor strategy that eluded him at the moment.
Life is just chemicals. A drop here, a drip there, everything's changed. A mere dribble of fermented juices and sudenlly you're going to live another few hours.
Never trust any complicated cocktail that remains perfectly clear until the last ingredient goes in, and then immediately clouds.
I’m not superstitious. I’m a witch. Witches aren’t superstitious. We are what people are superstitious of.
...it is well known that a vital ingredient of success is not knowing that what you're attempting can't be done.
This I choose to do. If there is a price, this I choose to pay. If it is my death, then I choose to die. Where this takes me, there I choose to go. I choose. This I choose to do.