Tina Fey Quotes

Everybody kind of gets to be the person they didn't get to be.

It's not vanity, because if you look weird, it will distract from what your trying to do. If you look as good as you can, people will be able to pay attention to what your actually saying.

If you are capable people are happy to play with you.

A new poll showed that 66% of Americans think President Bush is doing a poor job handling the war in Iraq and the remaining 34% think that Adam and Eve rode dinosaurs to church.

When you have a set of characters, you have to fall in love with them and care about them as each individual character.

I believe in process. I believe that having a really difficult process is more valuable than a good outcome.

The ladies of comedy now are comfortable dressing up. It's not forbidden anymore.

...the Rule of Agreement reminds you to “respect what your partner has created” and to at least start from an open-minded place. Start with a YES and see where that takes you.

I think people fetishize glasses in general. You could put glasses on a rotting pumpkin and people would think it was sexy.

You all watched a sketch about feminism and you didn't even know it because of all the jokes. It's like when Jessica Seinfeld puts spinach in kids' brownies. Suckers!

There is no one of-woman-born who does not like Red Lobster cheddar biscuits. Anyone who claims otherwise is a liar and a Socialist.

In order to feel safer on his private jet, actor John Travolta has purchased a bomb-sniffing dog. Unfortunately for the actor, the dog came six movies too late.

Sometimes you want to have a very productive Saturday to feel that you are in control of your life, which of course you are not.

When I turned 50, I looked in the mirror and I thought: "Hey, this isn't the dress rehearsal, this is life and I don't know how much longer I'm going to have!"

It was reported that Guy Ritchie has cast his wife Madonna in a small walk-on role in his new movie, Revolver. Madonna will play the part of the woman who ruins the film.

...I can't possibly take time off for a second baby, unless I do, in which case that is nobody's business and I'll never regret it for a moment unless it ruins my life.

I do like to start on time; I like to set the bar high for people.

You can't control things by being nervous.

In Washington, officials from the National Rifle Association met with a group of high school students. There were no survivors.

In my experience, the hardest thing about having someone "come out" to you is the "pretending to be surprised" part.

If a bout of "creepy face" sets in, the trick is to look away from the camera between shots and turn back only when necessary. This also limits how much of your soul the camera can steal.

Either way, everything will be fine. But if you have an opinion, please feel free to offer it to me through the gap in the door of a public restroom. Everyone else does.

Amy Poehler and I have been friends for so long, we're like Oprah and Gale. Only we're not denying anything.

A willingness to drop your ego and let yourself look foolish. You almost have to enjoy looking vulnerable. You'd be surprised how many people don't want to do that.

Television is a runaway train that you have to get on for nine months of the year. But at the same time, it has a wonderful immediacy.

"30 Rock" is over, so I definitely aspire to write another movie again; eventually, will try to pitch something for television again.

I had a gentleman in college tell me, during a date, that I could be really pretty if I lost some weight. On a date!

I'm a logic monster, if things don't make sense I've gotta make sense of them. I enjoy helping to develop material for movies, it's a way for me to get into the part.

I think the philosophy will continue to be what it always was; which was, let's keep throwing a bunch of things at the wall, and see what sticks.

Will Ferrell is a dangerous man. If he thinks you're in his way in show business, he will crack your head open. He's the Jeff Gillooly of comedy.

No other formula gives your baby a better start in life except that stuff that comes out of you for free.

We writers dream of a future where actors are mostly computer generated and their performances can be adjusted, by us, on a laptop, alone.

It’s no more dangerous to society than a radio broadcast of The War of the Worlds.

[...] things most people do naturally are often inexplicably difficult for me.

In my limited experience, shows are like children. You can teach them manners and dress them in little sailor suits, but in the end, they're going to be who they're going to be.

A combustion engine of ambition and disappointment.

Am I just chasing it because it's the hardest thing for me to get and I want to prove I can do it?

Never tell a crazy person he’s crazy.

The eyes are the window to where the soul is supposed to be.

I'm more of a writer than an actor, and I used to say that I'm mostly an improviser, though I haven't improvised in awhile.

Al Gore announced Tuesday that he plans to launch a 24-hour cable news network for young adults. Gore claims he's been wanting to do this since he invented cable TV in the 1990s.

I never get to go to movies, because I'm a mom.

I really love cursing a lot. But as I get older, I realize it's a little unseemly for women of a certain age.

[Please let my daughter] not have to wear high heels.

Saudi Arabian police arrested seven teenage boys for leering at women. In accordance with Saudi law, the boys will be whipped and the women will be stoned to death.

Doing one movie every two years is about all I can handle 'cause, being the creator at '30 Rock', my year there starts in the middle of June and goes back around until March.

This January, Kevin Costner will be honored by the Palm Springs International Film Festival for his contribution to film. This gives Costner just two months to make a contribution to film.

I don't want to be somebody else.

At the upcoming Grammy Awards, Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony will perform together as the first time, as man and wife. Hopefully music.

Wafah Dufour bin Laden, niece of Osama bin Laden has signed a contract to star in a reality show... called Skating with the Nieces of Terrorists.