Tracy Morgan Quotes

Affirmative action was designed to keep women and minorities in competition with each other to distract us while white dudes inject AIDS into our chicken nuggets.

My sense of humor is a turkey, and I pull it out of the oven and baste it in reality.

And when I was angry, when I was younger, I was in a cocoon. Now I'm a beautiful, black butterfly.

Bad news travels at the speed of light; good news travels like molasses.

I have snakes, three sharks, moray eels, piranhas, five scorpions and a bird spider. All of them are predators. They are dangerous but it's cool to have strong and powerful pets.

I see knowledge of self. I know who I am. When I look in the mirror, I see me.

Don't follow in my footsteps. Be original, and create your own path. Be a trailblazer! Do you! Be better than me. Do you! Be happy and have joy in your life.

I love my mother. My mother made sure, her stubbornness - she made sure we was going to eat. She made sure we had Christmases. That was my mother. My father wasn't there for that.

My father said: "If you want to catch your girl cheating, you knock on the front door and run to the back, because he's coming out the back."

I love this cornbread so much, I wanna take it behind a middle school and get it pregnant.

Eddie [Murphy] is an icon. He's one of the reason why I started doing comedy in the beginning. He opened a lot of doors for black people.

Live every week like it's shark week.

Stand-up don't get no respect - it's the hardest thing to do in show business. You don't have no band and there's no music.

Michael's the ultimate entertainer. After Michael Jackson, it's Elvis Presley, Frank Sinatra, and Bruce Lee.

I've been funny my whole life. This is a gift God gave me.

I've got to show life as I see it.

When a child is born, it's born with a heart of gold, but the way of this world can turn that heart cold. I'm still a good person, and I thank God for that - He's working with me on it.

I just see myself as a short, dumpy guy with bad feet, and I'm passionate.

I just want to have a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, so that when I'm long gone my great-great-grandchildren can walk up to it and say, "That's my ancestor." That will be my legacy.

Being funny wasn't a career choice growing up, it was my way out of situations; a way to survive another day.

You will be surprised but I do a lot of studying and I watch National Geographic.

I don't have a hateful bone in my body. I don't believe anyone should be bullied or made to feel bad about who they are.

My life growing up was a twisted Bronx version of The Color Purple. It had a much different soundtrack and no trees, but that desperation was the same.

You can't hold me to the same standard as the president or a school teacher. I'm just a comedian. My job is like Archie Bunker.

You get somebody to crack a smile, that's a beautiful thing.

I do stand up sometimes out of anger. Sometimes the greatest stuff comes from a dark place.

Because Eddie [Murphy] came from where I come from, the Bushwick section of Brooklyn. People in the projects used to call me Fat Murphy.

I don't need no stool and mike stand. I don't need all of that to be funny. I've been funny my whole life. This is a gift God gave me. I spread love wherever I'm at. I'm like Marvin Gaye.

What I have learned over the years is to try to stay in the moment. I want to feel it all because I've realized nothing lasts.

I would love to try action films.

I love Ice Cube and Charlie Day. They're brilliant men, great actors and very funny people.

I love being around people who love to do what I love to do, which is comedy.

I was like any other inner-city kid with a chip on his shoulder because his daddy and his mommy wasn't together.

Stand-up is really personal. It's not like somebody else is writing the script and you have to do what they write.

What am I afraid of? The IRS. Thats it. I dont want those people knockin on my door, man.

Too many people focus on the thing, instead of the heavenly glory of it. I don't want to give away what to expect.

Let's focus on the funny. ... That's what I'm focused on... This is the gift God gave me. That's what I want to touch in people.

I'm a big, big movie fan. I watch 'The Ten Commandments' and the original 'Planet of the Apes' every night.

If I don't offend somebody, then I'm probably not funny.

I don't really take the college tours and all that. Those are young people and I'm quite sure they're mature enough to understand, but they haven't seen or lived real life yet.

I never wanted the ha-ha-ha laughter [at my shows]. I always aimed for the gut. I always aimed for the pretty girls in the front row, laughing and leaning over and pooting.

I had a great time working on 'Saturday Night Live.' It was one of the important times in my life.

The things I did on Saturday Night Live are going to stay as Saturday Night Live. You've never seen Eddie Murphy do a Gumby movie. There's a lot more new material inside of me.

I'm not really much into politics, because it's rarely discussed in my line of work, but I know that Barack Obama is trying his best, and that at some point down the road, he's going to get it right.

To me, politics is a pile of tricks.

People bring camera phones into comedy shows and clubs and concerts, and sound bites never come out right.

Comedy clubs are sacred ground. That's where anything goes.

Reality is the scary thing. Not my work, not comedy.

Life smacks Tracy Morgan in the face, and I don't mean to talk in third party, but no, it doesn't stop raining when I come outside, no, absolutely not. I'm very in touch.

I'm around my kids every day. I'm regular. We're a regular family. My wife cooks, she washes clothes, I read books, I pump my own gas, I get my own hair cut.