Will Rogers Quotes

America is the first country where people go to the poor house in their car.

Congress is deadlocked and can’t act.

I see a good deal of talk from Washington about lowering taxes-I hope they do get 'em lowered enough so people can afford to pay 'em

Some guy invented Vitamin A out of a carrot. I'll bet he can't invent a good meal out of one.

Americans are getting like a Ford car, they all have the same exact parts, the same upholstering and make exactly the same noises.

The deer season just opened. A deer hunter in Ventura Country brought in his first man yesterday.

You have a wonderful organization. I understand you have ten thousand here. And if you count the ones in the various federal prisons, it brings your total membership up to around thirty thousand.

Course, that's the trouble with politics, it breeds politics! So that makes it pretty hard to stamp out.

You could be the World's greatest orator and if you don't say anything while orating, they are going to walk out on you after a while.

I will never joke about old soldiers who try to get to reunions to talk over the war again. To talk of old times with old friends is the greatest thing in the world.

We have been just going like a house afire, and we couldent see any reason why we shouldent keep right on burning. Our tastes were acquired on credit, and we wanted to keep on enjoying 'em on credit.

The trouble with land is that they're not making it anymore.

Any person that don't read at least one well-written country newspaper is not truly informed.

The Lord so constituted everybody that no matter what color you are you require the same amount of nourishment.

There is two things that can disrupt business in this country. One is War, and the other is a meeting of the Federal Reserve Bank.

Those tax-exempt bonds were put in so that a town or a state or a government could sell more bonds than it ought to.

Nobody wants his cause near as bad as he wants to talk about his cause.

Statistics have proven that the surest way to get anything out of the public mind and never hear of it again is to have a Senate committee appointed to look into it.

You can be killed just as dead in an unjustified war as you can in one protecting your own home.

That's one thing about Republican Presidents. They never went in much for plans. They only had one plan. It says "Boys, my head is turned. Just get it while you can.

We are here just for a spell and then pass on. So get a few laughs and do the best you can. Live your life so that whenever you lose it, you are ahead.

If you want to know when a war might be coming, you just watch the U.S. and see when it starts cutting down on its defenses. It's the surest barometer in the world.

This stuff they are talking here in Congress costs the people of the United States $44 a page. That's beside what it costs to ship it to the asylums where it's read.

Your mothers get mighty shocked at you girls nowadays, but in her day, her mother was just on the verge of sending her to reform school.

There is two types of Larceny, Petty and Grand. They are supposed to be the same in the eyes of the law, but judges always put a little extra on you for Petty, which is kind of a fine for stupidness.

Alexander Hamilton originated the put and take system in our national treasury: the taxpayers put it in, and the politicians take it out

If you live right, death is a joke to you as far as fear is concerned.

Foreign relations is an open book-- generally a checkbook.

Politicians are dumb, but they can count to 50% plus one.

Every man is ignorant - just on different subjects.

Everything worthwhile is a good idea, but did you ever notice there is more bad ideas that will work than there is good ones?

We know lots of things we didn't use to know but we don't know any way to prevent 'em from happening.

Labor leaders don't do much laboring after they are able to lead.

Know what you're doing, love what you're doing, and believe in what you're doing.

How is the government going to get the extra taxes? Out of the rich, or just out of the poor, as usual?

Some say, what is the Salvation of the Movies? I say, run 'em backwards. It can't hurt 'em and it's worth a trial.

So the question rises: How much liberty can you get away with? Well, you get no more liberty than you give!

We're all ignorant, just about different stuff.

When I make a joke, nobody gets injured... when Congress makes a joke, it's the law.

It isn't what we don't know that gives us trouble, it's what we know that ain't so.

We are always saying: Let the Law take its Course but what we really mean is: Let the Law take OUR Course.

It is not the return on my investment that I am concerned about; it's the return of my investment

Don't invite me if you don't want me.

A successful outcome shows what hard work, perseverance and taking advantage of your opportunities will do for you.

I am proud of the fact there is not a human being that I have got it in for. I never met a man I didn't like.

They are each good when they are out, and each bad when they are in.

My own mother died when I was 10 years old. My folks have told me that what little humor I have comes from her. I can't remember her humor, but I can remember her love and understanding of me.

Hurray! Congress is to adjourn! Only four more days of Congressional burglary on the Treasury!

We elect our Presidents, be they Republican or Democrat, then start daring 'em to make good.

I never took a human life, I only sold the fellow the gun to take it with.