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There are two conflicting philosophies that I love: "Everything happens for a reason," as well as "you can change everything that you have control over."
I'm lucky; my parents have never said to me, "You're a kid, so you just don't know." They say, "How can we discuss the world and learn from these events together?"
I feel like there's no need to put on a heel that's too high. There's nothing cute about wobbling. There's nothing cute about not wanting to dance or walk somewhere because you're in pain.
The tragedies of our past are the stepping stones for us to reach the happy endings of our tomorrows. Guilt is not going to help you become a better person. Acceptance will.