Zach Braff Quotes

I like the punch beggers and panhandlers when they ask me for change. I feel like I am doing my part to clean up the streets.

I mean, what's eleven million people now days?

Yeah i saw An Inconvenient Truth, and i dont want to say it was preachy but let's not kid ourselves, i've got far more important work to do

I was originally set to star in 'The Bourne Identity,' but I found it too difficult to even pretend to forget who I was.

Sometimes, I go to Barnes & Noble with the sole intention of moving all copies of the bible to the fiction section.

Sure, it was terrible and all, but you have to ask yourself: If the whole city was flooded, why couldn't they just swim to safety?

Ever since I was little it was programmed into me that London is where great theatre occurs and all the big shows you love start there.

Don't get me wrong, I love the idea of killing unwanted babies, it's just that the idea of letting women make a decision doesn't sit well with me.

People have called me fake, but personally, I don't think I'm fake because I'm so insincere.

Best movie ever?! Come on, my appearance on Arrested Development had more dynamics, realism and feel to it than the whole trilogy combined.

What else could I tell them? I like my women like I like my whiskey: 12 years old and mixed up with coke.

Hitler was about population control.

I wouldn't say I'm bigger than Jesus. If I had to guess, I'd say probably, yeah, but as far as I know, the bible is never clear on this.

You always see black people complaining about this and that, but you never see me complaining about how slow they work on my plantation.

Oh I love children, but I could never eat a whole one.

Am I really gonna deny someone the opportunity of a lifetime just because they met me 5 easters early?

I don't like the term 'black people', I find it demeaning to those of us that actually qualify as 'people'.

Probably the most memorable even of my life is when I was born. It really made me who I am. If I die, I hope to go out the same way I came in, but I don't think my mother would be into that.

The biggest problem I had with starring in Scrubs were the black doctors. I just had to keep telling myself this show was satire.

I actually did ponder doing the Brad Pitt/Angelina Jolie thing and get a kid from Ethiopia. But you know, I already have an ashtray.

Now that 'Scrubs' is over, people seem to feel more comfortable telling me that I was a total douche to them for the past 8 years. And the whole time I'm thinking, 'Who ARE you?'

I was originally casted to be in the Superman movie but I read the script and realized that it was mysteriously similar to my screenplay for Zach Braff the Movie.

I find my movie props in my neighbors houses.

I don't think it's that bad, I mean, I love people following me around and helping me do stuff.

I believe the general consensus is the bigger it is, the more women flock to you. I guess its a good thing mine is HUGE!

One time a reporter asked me what my worst quality was. I looked him in the eyes then punched him in the face. I kind of felt bad about it later, but he didn't need to be rude.

Let's face it, it's only called Scrubs because I'm saving 'Zach Braff' for my autobiography.

Some people just don't want to put in the effort. I just show up and say some lines and I'm famous. Anyone living below the poverty line just needs to shape up or be shipped out, you know?

I was excited about The Dark Knight until Heath Ledger gave away the ending, Batman always wins.

Ya know, Hitler was this evil, evil man. But with the World Bank and Israel manipulating America, he might have been on to something.

If we've learned anything, it's that the combination of yellow smiley faces and blue polyester vests are irresistible to the inbred.

The Jews are just clumsy bakers.

The fact that 'Scrubs' is so popular in Israel is very important to me. I feel like I'm helping to cancel out the thousands of years of oppression the Jewish people have suffered.

I've never had much sympathy for orphans, I mean, when I was their age I would have killed to have no parents to make me clean my room and stuff

I'm a film geek man. I love toys. I love everything in filmmaking, so for me to just be around this technology is just so cool to watch it being used for the first time, some of the stuff.

I always wanted to direct movies. That's what I set out to do. When I was a little kid I just dreamed of making movies, and I went to film school [at Northwestern University].

I'm a person who likes these sort of movies... sad but moving 'art movies' that normally are at a festival and then they go to a small art house theater and disappear.