Phil Calvin McGrew is also known as Dr. Phil, is an American television personality, author, and the host of the television show Dr. Phil. He is one of the most well-known and trusted mental health professionals.
He has a unique talent to take complicated and practical information and makes it accessible and clear to the general public. Using television as a channel, McGraw presents captivating stories about real people with a variety of emotional problems.
McGraw was born in Vinita, Oklahoma, on September 1, 1950. At the age of 13, he worked at an A&W Root Beer stand and at a Pizza Planet local chain in Oklahoma City. He moved to Kansas with his father and did pursue his lifelong dream of becoming a psychologist.
McGraw did graduate in 1975 from Midwestern State University with a B.A. in psychology. Later on, he earned an M.A. in experimental psychology in 1976 and a PhD. in clinical psychology. His mentor PhD advisor Dr. Frank Lawlis became a contributing psychologist for his television show.
He started his writing career in 1999 when he published his first bestselling book, Life Strategies. In the next six years, he published three bestselling relationship books, Relationship Rescue, Self Matters, and Family First and other works.
His books are still an inspiration to thousands of people in a relationship and looking towards a successful one.
Following are some of his quotes that are an inspiration and are here to stay.
Awareness without action is worthless.
Awareness means knowing or having a certain perception of a situation or a fact. It means to inform and educate people about the topic or issue with a defined purpose and goal.
If you are aware of something and do not take any action, then it is useless. When you know what is wrong, but if you ignore it, then it is truly of no use.
Knowing is not enough as you should be aware of when to use the knowledge. And when an opportunity arises, you need to react and raise your voice when needed.
So, when necessary, use your knowledge for the betterment.
We teach people how to treat us.
The way we treat others is the way they treat us. People give their best if they are treated with respect and feel appreciated.
Respect is a feeling of admiration and the feeling that all humans need to be treated with dignity. Start to treat others with affection and understand that every human has basic rights.
Mistreating others show the feelings and the emotion you lack. Therefore, treat others the way you want to be treated.
It's so much easier to tell people what they want to hear instead of what they need to hear.
Each person loves to live his life according to his terms and conditions. And if anything goes wrong, he doesn't like to admit where he went wrong.
People hate advice. They do not like it when others point out their mistakes and tell them what they need to do. They hate it if it is something they do not want to hear.
It's quite difficult to deal with a person's emotions. And when you say something they want to hear, it becomes much easier. So, sometimes it is better not to say what went wrong.
It's better to be healthy alone than sick with someone else.
When you are with a person, and that can be a companion or friend or even a person from your group, you may feel happy. You may feel better when there are people around you.
And when there are people with you and still feel lonely, then it is of no use. If you are with a person and still are alone, then it is better to be alone.
It is great to be in good health than to be unwell with someone. It is better to be with no one and be healthy than to be ill with someone.
Eighty percent of all choices are based on fear. Most people don't choose what they want; they choose what they think is safe.
When in fear, you make choices that are most demanding in the current situation. They prefer making things rather than making them complicated.
Almost eighty percent of all the opinions we have or selection we do are based on terror. People do not choose what they want but only prefer what they think is guarded.
People often change their preferences according to the circumstances. They change their needs out of fear and do only what the situation demands.
So, when in fear, take a deep breath and think twice before choosing.
Sometimes you make the right decision, sometimes you make the decision right.
The decision is an ability or tendency to make decisions quickly. It is the process where a decision is taken or when resolving any question. It is also a resolution taken after many considerations.
Every decision you take may not be the right decision. And if it is not the right one, then work enough to make it the right one. It is okay to be wrong at times. And during those situations, stay calm as you can always make it right.
So even if you make a decision that is not correct, put effort and work to make it the right one.
Every one of us have things that we believe about ourselves when nobody else is looking, nobody else is listening, nobody else is monitoring what we're doing. We believe things about ourself.
We often believe certain things about ourselves. No matter what others say, we have a belief about ourselves.
Each person has things that they are confident about themselves. And this trust is when no one looks at us, nor listens to us or when no one keeps a watch on you.
We are ourselves when we are alone. It is the real version of us. And that is the belief most people have about themselves.
You're only lonely if you're not there for you.
Loneliness is to feel sad or to be unhappy about being isolated. It is pretty normal and is a sign of underlying disease when emotions are high and it starts to affect your daily life.
It is okay not to have a company. It's better to be lonely than to feel alone with someone. And you are not lonely until you have yourself. Not every time there will be a person with you.
There will be days when there will be no one with you. All you have will be yourself. During those days give yourself company. Be there for yourself as only you are only the best companion for you.
Instead of being ashamed of what you've been through, be proud of what you have overcome!
Every person has different strengths and weaknesses. No two person is of the same kind. Each person is unique, and everyone has their qualities.
The journey towards achieving your goal may be full of situations that may be terrifying. You may have gone through instances which no one can imagine.
The path may be horrible and the one which includes a lot of painful memories. It is okay to have had such a path but do not consider it as something to be ashamed of. Instead, be proud of what you have overcome. Those situations make you a stronger and a better person.
The most you get is what you ask for.
When we need anything in life, we must have enough courage to ask for it. Not even a single soul on this earth is perfect. Being perfect is a myth which most people believe in.
Start asking when you do not know things. As you start asking questions, you learn new things. You develop skills that were unknown to you. You become a better person.
Learning something new is always interesting. It is good to know something creative. So, start asking as you will only get what you ask.
You can't change what you don't acknowledge.
To acknowledge something is to recognize the importance of certain things. When you start to admit or accept the truth, you begin to appreciate things in your life.
Change is to make someone or something different. It is to modify or alter things. To change is to replace with something else, especially something of the same kind.
The things which you cannot acknowledge are something that you cannot change. Start accepting the changes as it is the only constant thing.
Don't wait until you're in a crisis to come up with a crisis plan
Only when you are in a problem only then you come up with a plan. When in a disaster, you come up with a plan, but until then, it becomes too late.
A crisis is something that occurs when you least expect it. They are negative changes in a human without any warning. Humans generally have the habit of doing things only when they have to.
Having a backup plan is always better than making a plan when the situation demands it. So plan and make use of it when in need.
Are you doing what you're doing today because you want to do it, or because it's what you were doing yesterday?
In life, there are times when you do things because you have to. You forget the dreams and goals you began with.
Circumstances do change a person and their needs. They change their perception and become a different person. And slowly, this becomes a habit. You do not realize when your goals change and when all of this becomes a habit.
McGraw asks that you are doing something today because you want to do it. He questions whether you do certain things as you were doing it yesterday. So, if it is not what you want to do, then realize it because it is okay to be late rather than not understand.
We all have a social mask, right? We put it on, we go out, put our best foot forward, our best image. But behind that social mask is a personal truth, what we really, really believe about who we are and what we're capable of.
Every person has two faces- one face you show to the entire world and the other known to you.
The mask we put on our faces is surely an invisible one: the one which nobody can recognize, the one which we do not realize. We put on this mask and go out there in the world.
We put on the mask and show an image that we have created—the one which everyone recognizes. But the truth is that behind that mask is the real you—the one which you can identify with and know what you can do.
It's hard to see your own face without a mirror.
In today's world, the amount of pressure and stress an average person goes through is at its peak. It's hard to realize the real you. It becomes so confusing that you cannot identify yourself.
We put on a mask where we show only the best of ourselves. We become deprived of emotions and turn into a different person. You do not realize it until someone makes you understand.
And when you look at your face in the mirror, you start to identify the changes you underwent. They start to realize the real you hidden behind your mask. And slowly, it becomes hard to grasp yourself without a mirror.
You have got to decide, look, this is who I am; this is my best way to present myself, and I'm going to ride that horse to the finish line. Not everybody will like it, but that's okay.
When you need to decide things in your life, do it for yourself. Do not do it because a situation demands it or because it has become a kind of ritual.
Start deciding for yourself. Talk to yourself and make yourself understand that it is who you truly are, and this is the best thing I can do to come forward. This is how my life will be, and this is how I will achieve my goals.
There will always be people who will criticize you no matter what you do. So, stop worrying about the criticism you face in your life. As everyone doesn't need to have the same opinion, but that's okay.
Therefore, live your life according to your own rules.
Everyone faces the challenge of finding meaning to their suffering.
Challenges are the ones that come into our life expectedly. It is something that strikes without any sign. No matter how conscious we become, it does terrorize us.
Each person has their journey, and all of it has pain and sufferings in them. No one can escape from those dreadful moments as they are part of their life.
Every challenge a person goes through gives meaning to their suffering. As when they overcome all those suffering, it makes perfect sense. And then every challenge becomes easy.
Relationships are negotiated and if you deal with ultimatums and authority all the time, then you're not going to get anywhere.
Relationships between two people or a group are the way they feel and behave towards each other. It is a close association even with your acquaintance.
It is something that can be obtained or bring about by discussion. It is a strategic conversation that can resolve an issue and which is acceptable. Relationships are something that is often compromised.
And when you deal with all those tantrums, you should understand that the relationship is getting nowhere. When another person has to deal with a certain authority, everything becomes complicated.
Sometimes you just got to give yourself what you wish someone else would give you.
Giving and taking is the policy of our life. If only any one of them comes to an end, then the entire chain gets disrupted, and everything gets spoiled.
At times you have to be there for someone else the way you wish someone else will be there for you. Even if you are alone, you still need to be for the people whom you care for.
It is an individual's choice to be with others when you need them. It should come from within, or else it holds no meaning. So, no matter whatever happens, always be there for the people you love.
Life is a full-contact sport, and there's a score up on the board.
Life is truly a journey of all unpredictable things. It always prepares you for the worst moments and then gives you hope.
It is like a sports agreement that you have to follow by default. And in this agreement, there are certain tasks which you need to complete. And if you fail to do so, there are clauses attached to it.
When you complete each given task, you get points, and in some instances, bonus points are given. On failure, some points are deducted. All of these scores can be seen on the scoreboard.
Remember, each step is counted, and every move is watched, so play your game smoothly.
Life is always tough so are you. So in any given situation fight against it and conquer the impossible. As impossible is also made up of two words, "I'm" and "Possible", which means that anything is possible if you wish to. So believe in yourself and create your path. Remember, you are a lot stronger than you believe. And now breathe.
