If you are reading this article, this indicates that you are feeling stuck in your prosaic life and wants some light to show you out. Almost all of us live through a period where they feel like their life has plateaued out. The cause might be a stressful career or relationship or certain persisting circumstances.
In this post, you will learn why it is essential to let go of things which are no longer benefitting you in any way and has only become detrimental. As you read along, you will realise, the concept is not restricted to getting out of a toxic relationship or work environment.
The habit of holding on has much more profound spiritual and existential ramifications and might be the core of all the suffering.
To be emotionally free
The obvious and most important reason. Happiness can never be achieved if you are claustrophobic in your relationship. Now, I know trying to tell if you are too demanding of your relationship or you are simply with the wrong person is extremely difficult. But when you start feeling its always you compromising in the relationship, it will take a toll emotionally. You have to let go of the toxicity.
For your partner's sake
A study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found out that when people decide to continue with the relationship, they consider not only their well-being but also their partner's. So, many won't break up because they believed their partners were too dependent on them, and separation would harm them.
In situations where you are staying together just because you worry about them and not because you want to be with them, is not good enough. A relationship should be nourishing and enjoyable. And it will wear you down eventually. They too deserve to be with someone who loves them and enjoy being with them.
For finding better opportunities and growth
A survey of Stanford Business school alumni found that people who didn't stick to one position throughout their career and held five or more positions were likely to reach top management compared to ones with fewer roles. According to one of the articles in Forbes, successful people tend to change jobs more often. It leads to more skill development, exposure and network in your market and a better, more fulfilling purpose.
So, if you are feeling stuck in your job, letting go can be a good call.
To have better physical and mental health
Moving on from stress triggering relationships, workplaces, and challenging goals can prevent psychosomatic illnesses like constipation and headaches. And of course, result in better sleep.
A study also found that letting go can prevent early ageing.
Gregory Miller of the University of British Columbia and Carsten Wrosch of Concordia University did research. They found that teenage girls who could easily let go of unattainable goals were less likely to suffer from increased levels of inflammatory C-reactive protein which is linked to heart diseases and diabetes and early ageing.
To heal psychologically
Letting go of not just our romantic and professional aspirations but also our psychological baggage. Although letting go of these kinds of issues might be much more difficult for they are generally embedded deep into past trauma and abuse. But the journey of healing starts with your firm decision to let go of your suffering and victimhood and make a better life for yourself.
To build a better support system
Sometimes we suffer mentally and emotionally because people around us-family, friends, partners are not supportive or have different opinions and beliefs. They might have their reasons for being who they are, and you can respect that. However, you don't have to let that negativity discourage you. It might be a good idea to reduce the time you spend with them. More often, we become the kind of people we grew up with or are surrounded by. So, choose wisely your social circle, and let go off those whose presence is proving to be damaging in your life.
To increase your self-esteem
By letting go and moving on from a bad relationship or needless suffering, you assert your self-love and that your happiness matter. This is the first step towards building unshakeable self-esteem.
To build your integrity
When you are being forced to keep going on when you are not happy for whatever reason you are likely going to end up cheating.
Not just that, but a behavioural ethics study showed that people are likely to take an unethical path when they have gotten attached to challenging goals. The worst part, the habit persists even when the road is not that difficult.
Because change is essential
Change in our life means the change of places, people, career, likings and beliefs. We are changing every second, and if you haven't changed, how can you say you have lived.
Survival of the fittest is the norm. You have to adapt to the changing times, which demands you to let go off of all the vestigial things in your life that prevents you from enjoying life to the fullest.
Never Quitting v/s Letting Go
There is an increasing debate between Never Quitting and Letting Go. Frankly, there is no universal solution to it. It all comes down to you. There are equally strong arguments on both sides. Few points I find helpful are:
It would be best if you keep on tuning your goal and adjusting it to the present scenario.
Choosing to be happy is not weak, nor is letting go!
If anything, you are more evolved and stronger in breaking bad habits.
And always try to maximise your prospects, i.e., there is no harm in having more than one goal.
Lastly, you are unique, and you need to find what journey, what destination works for you. Don't get carried away by other's outcome.
To prevent all your suffering
Now, there is a very elusive thing we cling to throughout our lives that causes us pain and depression, and we are not even aware of it. The very subtlest but most profound expectations, so deeply ingrained in us that we start believing it as the natural order. When we are born, we are told by people directly or indirectly the proper kind of life we will have. With Straight A's education, proper career by 30, a loving spouse and happy children- A big beautiful life.
But then we grow up and realise the ugly truth- education might not be enough to build a good career, you might have to change job and career, your relationships might demand more sacrifice than you were told to and you might lose people you treasure the most.
We might be able to do away with much of the suffering if we can shake off all these expectations we have of our life or God (if you are a believer) and take life as it comes. Aspire to live and enjoy at the moment because life is too short for all these future expectations.
PhD, Psychologist Judith Sills says,
"It is one of the great marvels of clinical observation how much discomfort people can tolerate before they acknowledge the need for change. "
Even more marvellous is how much people are willing to go through to get a new beginning, to get another shot at life.
Conclusion
Saying or giving lessons to someone is always easy, but when it comes to oneself only then, we realise the pain. But it is only us who can decide their future by taking the right decision: of letting go or holding onto it. Your decision will change your life. And then, you can define it as per your rules.
Co-author: Shreya Arya
A digital marketing enthusiast with experience in HR and hospital management, Shreya has wide interests ranging from philosophy, psychology to latest trends in automation. She is also a freelance content writer and loves lending beautiful words to ideas and feelings.
