Dennis Michael Miller is an American host, political commentator, actor, and comedian. He was a cast member of "Saturday Night Live", which aired from 1985 to 1991. He also hosted a string of other talk shows on various channels.
Miller was born on November 3, 1953, in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. He grew up in the suburb of Castle Shannon. Miller was raised by his mother, Norma.
From 2007 to 2015, Miller hosted a radio program that was syndicated by Westwood One. His current show, "Dennis Miller + One", was launched on RT America in March 2020. It's known for featuring celebrities. Miller has been listed as 21st on "Comedy Central's" 100 greatest stand-up comedians of all time. He was also ranked as the best host of SNL's Weekend Update.
Miller's first inspiration to pursue a career in comedy came as a child. During that period, he was taken to see comedian Kelly Monteith at a Pittsburgh club. After that show, Monteith himself answered Miller's questions about comedy. In 1979, Miller decided that he had to pursue stand-up comedy.
Miller has significantly made a mark in the world of stand-up comedy and political commentary. Below are some of the famous Dennis Miller Quotes.
A recent police study found that you're much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run.
This is a quote that is quite universally true. If you run and the police are chasing you, then you should stop then. That's because when you run, even when being asked to stop, you become more suspicious. You are liable to face action.
Parenting is the most important job on the planet next to keeping Gary Busey off the nation's highways.
Parenting here is described to be the most important job on the part of all individuals. However, this remark is a witty and funny one. Dennis says that parenting is next to keeping the American actor Gary Busey off the nation's highways. Busey is quite a famous actor.
The death penalty is becoming a way of life in this country.
Dennis Miller is pointing at the United States of America over here. The prison and penalty system in this nation is quite pathetic. Death is the only way through which all people are punished. This is quite irresponsible and worrying as this is not the permanent solution to crimes.
There's nothing wrong with being shallow as long as you're insightful about it.
Being shallow is fine. Sometimes you don't know certain things. However, there's a lot of difference between being shallow and not being able to acknowledge or gauge that shallowness. Even if you are shallow, be at least insightful to realise how shallow you are.
Here in Hollywood, you can get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch.
In Hollywood, everything is farcical and not true. Thus, Miller is saying that here, you can get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch. What it means is that movies and shows are just unrealistic. They don't portray reality.
Continue reading some more Dennis Miller Quotes....
The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.
Miller is talking about the radical right-wing of America. Right-wing as a political ideology is quite homophobic and detest homosexuality. Instead of that, they blame global warming for the rampant rise of AIDS. They don't recognise homosexuality which perhaps easily lets you catch AIDS.
Never have lived less lived been more chronicled.
When lives are chronicled, it means that there's something extraordinary about that person. It doesn't matter how long you live. What matters is what you do even during that short period of life. That's why the only chronicled lives are short ones.
I want to help the helpless, but I don't want to help the clueless.
Helping the helpless is a different thing from helping the clueless. Helpless are people who know what they have to do in their lives. It's just that they may lack the means to do those things. However, clueless are people who don't even have a basic idea of what they want to do. Helping them is useless.
Now, I don't want to get off on a rant here, but guilt is simply God's way of letting you know that you're having too good a time.
If you feel guilty about something, then you should take it as a positive lesson by God. Guilt is God's way of making you know that you were having a very good time. By making you feel guilty, God always tries to make you feel superior and inferior at the same time.
Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.
The cheese of Wisconsin is very famous. It's quite excellent in its quality and considered to be the best cheese in the entire state of America. Miller is saying that just as cheese is quintessential to Wisconsin, Washington DC is quite basic to lying. The city and its senate seem to lie a lot in their political talks.
Some more Dennis Miller Quotes...
I rant, therefore I am.
This quote by Miller is taken from the famous philosophical quote "I think, therefore I am" which was given by Rene Descartes. However, Miller has tweaked it a bit and made it sound funny. He says that his entire existence is dependant on ranting and cracking jokes.
Born again?! No, I'm not. Excuse me for getting it right the first time.
This is yet again a very funny quote by Miller. He is making fun of the entire exercise of taking birth over here. He says that it was wrong that he took birth the first time because he got it wrong. However, if one is born again, they must have also got their calculations wrong the second time.
One man's Voltaire is another man's Screech.
Voltaire was a great French philosopher while Screech is an actor. There's almost no similarity between them. However, Miller is trying to say that one person's role model can not be another person's role model. So if someone idolises Voltaire, they may not idolise Screech and vice versa.
America may be the best country in the world, but that's kind of like being the valedictorian of summer school.
Miller is taking a dig at America over here. He says that America may be great, but it's not correct to claim it to be the best nation in the world. That's because saying this is very utopian, and you never know that it just sounds like a childish valedictorian ceremony of a summer school.
What is guilt? Guilt is the pledge drive constantly hammering in our heads that keeps us from fully enjoying the show. Guilt is the reason they put the articles in Playboy.
Guilt is that hindrance that prevents us from fully enjoying our lives. It's the most debilitating way through which we prevent ourselves from enjoying. If we feel guilty, we will keep thinking about certain scenarios in our heads. All of it will prevent us from enjoying our lives.
The easiest job in the world has to be a coroner. Surgery on dead people. What's the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you'd get a pulse.
Being a coroner is truly the easiest job in this world. It's the surgery that has to be performed on dead people. There's nothing that can be called worst while carrying it out. If anything goes wrong also, you will still get a pulse, which means money. Thus, Miller is funnily saying that it's a very easy job.
Few more Dennis Miller Quotes....
Just put down 9/11... I think, on most things I'm liberal, except on defending ourselves and keeping half the money. Those things I'm kind of conservative on.
Dennis is talking about the 9/11 attacks over here. He is saying that in most things, he is quite liberal. However, he doesn't support the fact that one should defend themselves and keep half of the money with them. In terms of these things, he is quite conservative.
I'm a comedian, for God's sake. Viewers shouldn't trust me. And you know what? They're hip enough to know they shouldn't trust me. I'm just doing stand-up comedy.
Sometimes viewers take everything that they see as given. They trust the comedians who rather just crack jokes. But sometimes, the jokes seem so realistic that the audience ends up believing everything that a stand-up comedian says.
Human beings are human beings. They say what they want, don't they? They used to say it across the fence while they were hanging wash. Now they just say it on the Internet.
Human beings won't stop speaking or abusing each other, for that matter. They earlier said things across the fence. However, today in the age of the Internet, they say things on various social media websites and platforms. Thus, their inherent nature stays the same.
By and large, I think it should be a rule in the teacher employment manual that you can't go attend any event where if you took your classroom on a student field trip, they would summarily be obliterated. That should be ruled No. 1.
Teaching means a lot more than just teaching in classrooms. The students should feel engaged and immersed. For that, they should be taken to field trips to teach practical issues. However, that doesn't mean that the teachers should accompany them to those trips because that defeats the true teaching purpose. Students should be let free. They shouldn't be obliterated.
