Why Parenting Styles Matter When Raising Children

Children are miniature versions of adults in the making. They must be moulded and shaped like clay. Parents play a vital role in the process to a great extent. Parents are always present in the life of their kids to guide, support and advise at necessary circumstances. Human psychology analyses the effects parents have on their children immensely. There are many hypotheses put forward by several scientists like Maccoby, but the most accurate and used is Diana Baumrind's theory of parenting style. It has four styles which are to be discussed in this article below will prove the effects of parenting styles on children's behaviour. 

Parenting Styles

The strategies and techniques parents use to impart knowledge and teach skills to their children is termed as parenting styles. The time spent with children is precious. No one will deny that fact. However, what we do at that time and what kind of information, facts we share, news we tell, everything has an impact on the child. Children keep pestering parents with loads of questions constantly. The way of responding plays a major role in parenting too. Different stages of life correspond to form the childhood of a person. Incidents in this period can be positive or negative, and the way parents react to it forms an image/ impression in the children's mind and memory. Several parenting styles research articles are available online and in books. Many theories were proposed to discuss how parenting affects children's behaviour, and one such popular theory is Diana Baumrind's theory of parenting styles.

Diana Baumrind's theory of parenting styles

Diana Blumberg Baumrind, a clinical and developmental psychologist, researched on parenting styles is behind the three styles. There are four types of basic elements which shape normal parents into more responsible. They are responsiveness, unresponsiveness, demanding and undemanding. Responsiveness is the two ways of how parents respond to the query of their child as they are constantly demanding questions. Demandingness, on the other hand, is based, what the parents expect out of their children and how they react if their demands are not reached. Based on this, the three parenting styles were formulated by her, which will be discussed below. 

Authoritarian parenting style

Authoritarian parenting style is for parents who are highly demanding but with less responsiveness. The parents in this category are stricter in a very exhaustive way. They demand the kids do things in a certain way without explanation. They scarcely give them any feedback on what the kids are doing in their life and do not guide them. Kids will be given less significance in the family and won't be a prominent figure in the family. Corporal punishment is a part of this style, including shouting and yelling, but not all parents are abusive. They are simply too hard on the children. 

Advantages of Authoritarian parenting style

1. In this style of parenting, the children learn to survive in a very harsh society as an adult. 
2. It prepares the children as to how to react to the negative responses like anger, ignorance and aggression. 
3. Children learn how to handle mentally depressed people, anxious people in their life with patience.

Drawbacks of Authoritarian parenting style

1. Corporeal punishment tends to scar the children mentally and physically. To avoid the punishments and reprimanding, the children learn to cultivate the habit of lying.
2. They deliberately hide things from their family and do not share anything with anyone. They tend to be very shy, reserved and introvert and very empathetic.
3. In future, these children are prone to become mentally depressed and can become addicted to alcohol or drugs. They develop an unforgiving attitude too. 

Indulgent or Permissive parenting style:

The relationship between parenting style and children's behaviour problems is closely knit, and in this parenting style, parents tend to be less demanding but with high responsiveness. They simply go too soft on the children. Spoilt children are the ones who come out of this parenting style, and single children usually tend to be this way. The children do have an important role to play in the family, and the family keeps indulging them in everything they do. Parents tend to be very nurturing, caring and accept the positive and negative sides of their child. 

Advantages of Permissive parenting style

1. The leniency of the parent encourages the child to pursue their dreams without the usual shackles. 
2. When the parents impose only a few rules, the children tend to be more free and carefree. 
3. Parents tend to warm in nature and are always responsive to their children. 

Drawbacks of Permissive parenting style

1. The children tend to grow as a spoilt child as they get everything and anything they want. 
2. They display an egocentric attitude, and they have the urge to be the centre of attraction at all times. 
3. Their impulsive behaviour will affect their relationships and will have poor social skills. 

Authoritative parenting style

The influence of parenting style on children's behaviour is immense, and not all parents understand this. Authoritative parenting style is where parents who are highly demanding but with high responsiveness. So far, this is said to be the best type of parenting style which is just right for all children. No two extreme moods of being strict or lenient are seen here. The parent may be strict but only at some circumstances with exceptions.                 

Advantages of Authoritative parenting style

1. The parent sets high expectations on the child, which motivates the child to work better. 
2. Clear rules imposed on the kids will make them understand the do's and don'ts clearly. 
3. Parents tend to be responsive and warm towards their children. Therefore, they tend to be supportive and encouraging. 

There are hardly any drawbacks in this parenting style as children tend to have good social skills, lower mental illness, higher academic performance, confidence and self-esteem. 

Neglectful (or Uninvolved) Parenting style

Neglectful Parenting style parents are not demanding with 0% responsiveness. They do not care what their children are up to and do not involve them with any activities. Such children tend to grow alone with no company and tend to be very shy by nature. There are no advantages of Neglectful Parenting style; however, it has plenty of drawbacks than advantages. 

Drawbacks of Neglectful Parenting style

1. The cold and unresponsiveness nature of the parent makes the child distant and aloof from society too. 
2. As there are no rules imposed on the child, going astray from the home, community, and society is possible. 
3. Drug abuse, alcohol addiction, addiction to smoking, suicidal tendencies everything is likely to happen to these kids. 
4. Impulsive behaviour leads to committing crimes like pickpocketing, chain snatching, robbery, hurting people etc. 

Conclusion

Therefore these are the most popular parenting styles which till date is followed by the parents in the 21st century. All kids are different and must be approached in a very different manner. The effects of parenting styles on children's behaviour are long-lasting and effective in the long run until they become parents. Overall, the authoritative parenting style fits most of the children and is advised by the psychologists to follow it, grow, and nurture miniature adults into responsible citizens to our society. 

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Co-author:  Akshaya Saravana Kumar

Akshaya is currently pursuing Masters in English Literature. She is an avid reader, an animal lover and a movie freak. She loves to spend her past time travelling to strange places in different time zones with her imagination and fall in love with fictional characters.