Bathroom Quotes

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom.

Never pass up the chance to sit down or go to the bathroom.

I have got five minutes, some whip-its, and the key to the executive bathroom.

Having two bathrooms ruined the capacity to co-operate.

People think the free market is a philosophy, they think that it is a creed. It is none of those things. Free market is a bathroom scale, it is a measuring tape, it's simply a measurement.

I named my sons Brandon and Dylan after the Beverly Hills 90210 characters. Both of them were born in my bathroom. I had Dylan in my tub, and he came out underwater.

There are two things that Jack Bauer never does. Show mercy, and go to the bathroom.

Of all the subjects on this planet, I think my parents would have been hard put to name one less useful than Greek mythology to securing the keys to an executive bathroom.

Rude staff, bad lighting, and dirty bathrooms are all signs of a bad restaurant and a good reason to leave a restaurant!

The body is sort of a pain. It has to go to the bathroom. It has to be comfortable. But the spirit is indestructible. It can move at the speed of light.

In a house where there are small children the bathroom soon takes on the appearance of the Old Curiosity Shop.

[about the Hotel Marmont on Sunset Blvd., a piece of Hollywood history] I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel.

People always tell me I'm too modest, and that I'm allowed to tell myself now and then that I'm good at something. Well okay then, the bathroom is very (beautiful) clean right now.

I wish I had a nickel for every song that I've left in the bathroom, written down on a matchbox, or just totally forgotten about

You can say, 'Can I use your bathroom?' and nobody cares. But if you ask, 'Can I use the plop-plop machine?' it always breaks the conversation.

As for the British churchman, he goes to church as he goes to the bathroom, with the minimum of fuss and no explanation if he can help it.

We had a one bedroom, one bathroom, one closet apartment with four girls.

The Sopranos' is filled with really retrograde humor. Bathroom humor, falls, stupid puns, bad jokes - infantile, adolescent stuff, but it makes me laugh.

I don't want to be like the actor who rehearses everything in the bathroom, then comes to the set and carries on completely uninterrupted while the other actors tiptoe away.

The only bit of logic-based public bathroom humor I know is: the difference between men and women is that between the statement [P and not Q] and the statement [Q and not P].

In high school I was an outcast I wasn't cool to hang out with. I ate my lunch in a bathroom stall because that was the one place I could go where I wouldn't been seen.

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.

Bathroom, maybe? Which is where I need to go." "Ooh, me, too," Eve said. The boys rolled their eyes, like they'd planned it. "What? It's what girls do. Get over it.

If I really like the smell of something - a piece of tar or my goddaughter's plastic doll - I put a tiny piece in a bottle with a label. I keep them in a fridge in my bathroom.

A bathroom should be sterile and beautiful and functional. It should exude Japanese-style purity.

I am going to be working on bathroom fittings for a company in the USA, and then I thought it was appropriate to simplify the fittings and, thus, lowering the cost.

Too many comics today ramble. By the time they get to the punch line, the audience has either gone to sleep, gone to the bathroom or gone to bed.

If you get up at three in the morning to go to the bathroom, man, why you have to turn on that little light? Put the torch there on the nightstand.

The bathroom mirror has not budged, the woman who lives there can tell the truth from the stuff they say and looks me in the eye- says do you prefer the easy way? No? Well ok then, dont cry.

I need my products to work and be fast! I don't love having 50 different things in my bathroom, like a different cream for every inch of my face. That's so not me.

One day I actually took the list into the bathroom and I put it up against my face and looked in the mirror and I realized I had one of two choices, change the list or change myself.

I guess I'm not that metrosexual. My bathroom cabinet is hardly overflowing with products. I only really have my stuff for shaving. I can't honestly say I moisturise, though I probably should.

Whenever I'm on tour and I'm in my hotel room and I'm writing and playing my guitar, I go in the bathroom and I record whatever I'm writing in there. It's just what I love to do.

I started singing in the bathroom, ... Nothing was coming out. It was ghastly.

& this girl right here? Who knows what she knows? So I'm going through her phone when she go to the bathroom and her purse right there, I don't trust these hoes at all.

They gave 12 monkeys a typewriter for a week, and after a week, they only used it as a bathroom.

The bathroom door swings open. Emma sees the blood painting my skin and the red rivers carved on my body. Emma sees the wet knife, silver and bone. The screams of my little sister shatter mirrors.

I don't like to go out to clubs, because I find myself seeing remnants of drugs in the bathroom.

There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women.

I have been married for 58 years to the same woman. Our secret? Separate bathrooms.

I tried the Scarsdale diet and the Stillman water diet (you remember that one, where you run weight off trying to get to the bathroom).

Never discuss the poem you contemplate writing. It's like turning on the outside spigot. It takes all the pressure off the upstairs bathroom.

Americans are always mortified when I tell them this, but in England, it's a tradition to put your plaques and photographs and awards and gold records and stuff in your bathroom. I don't know why.

Most public bathrooms now have automatic toilet sensors. People can't even be trusted to flush.

I'm no interior decorator, but just I have a feeling that plastic plants in the bathroom... probably not a good idea.

Life is like a movie-since there aren't any commercial breaks, you have to get up and go to the bathroom in the middle of it.

Love is something that hangs up behind the bathroom door and smells of Lysol.

Like when I'm in the bathroom looking at my toilet paper, I'm like 'Wow! That's toilet paper?' I don't know if we appreciate how much we have.

All I'm thinking about today is cleaning my bathroom.

I remember one tour with two male-fronted bands, and they had a fight over who could use the bathroom first. Then they just ended up having a beef with each other for the entire rest of the tour.