Beer Quotes

In my experience, you run into trouble when you ask a group of beer-drinking men to perform any task more complex than remembering not to light the filter ends of cigarettes.

Hardware: This is the part of the computer that stops working when you spill beer on it.

Bad people drink bad beer. You almost never see an empty bottle of Rochefort tossed onto the side of the road.

I mulled over what he had told me as I savored the Scotch. Not bad, really - like a beer that's been in a brawl.

I spend most of my money on beer, the rest I just waste.

My first open mic, I drank a full pitcher of beer by myself. I wasn't afraid of being in front of people as much as, Is this funny?

Life isn't all beer and skittles; few of us have touched a skittle in years.

If they had built the Energy East pipeline to transport beer, we'd be okay.

And it's one more beer and I don't hear you any more.

We shall drink to our partnership. Do you like gin? It is my only weakness.

The man that isn't jolly after drinking is just a drivelling idiot, to my thinking.

Halloween is the only day I can dress up like a hot Latina woman with a beer belly.

I do not drink more than a sponge.

I'm off for a quiet pint - followed by fifteen noisy ones.

Lo! the poor toper whose untutored sense, Sees bliss in ale, and can with wine dispense; Whose head proud fancy never taught to steer, Beyond the muddy ecstasies of beer.

We should thank God for beer and burgundy by not drinking too much of them.

One night I'd had some beers, and then I Googled myself and spent the night in tears.

My favorite sport is female and my favorite food is beer.

If you faced a long hungry period with nothing between you and starvation but a bit of barley and a pig, you'd be better off turning the barley into beer and letting the pig starve.

I drink a lot of everything; beer while watching football. I have a taste for whiskey, but Jack Daniels and ginger is about as fancy as it gets with me.

I pray thee let me and my fellow have a haire of the dog that bit us last night.

And now, with the aid of this common beer glass, I shall play my fifty guinea solo.

Sometimes it's just the beer and bikinis that get people to come and watch, but it's the competition that's keeping them there.

I'd been doing some light-beer commercials for Budweiser and Coors, and I was doing stand-up comedy. I wanted to get into the acting world, and my agent sent me on audition and they liked it.

It's amazing. Being clearheaded for a show, for starters. Not being reflux-y because of the amount of beer you've drunk.

Let us drink for the replenishment of our strength, not for our sorrow

Never ask for 'a beer.'

See, there's a fat guy doing okay. Bring me another beer.

I'm a very feminine man. I like feminine things. I don't go to strip clubs. I don't drink beer. I don't play sports.

John and I would go and have a couple of quiet beers, just to sit down and chew the fat. And he'd talk about Cynthia and how much he missed her

Deep-seated preferences cannot be argued about - you cannot argue a man into liking a glass of beer.

Next to the originator of a good sentence is the first quoter of it.

I hope you like Guiness, Sir. I find it a refreshing alternative to food.

What were they thinking? 'It's an alien apocalypse! Quick, grab the beer!

We're just going to go straight beer. No sense in diluting it.

The human intellect owes its superiority over that of the lower animals in great measure to the stimulus which alcohol has given imagination.

When a glass sits on a table here, people don't wonder if it's half filled or half empty. They just hope it's good beer.

I like a good beer buzz early in the morning.

I think all the beer I drank in college created an iron bladder.

Beer was not made to be moralised about, but to be drunk.

A lot of people are actually surprised when I do open up my mouth and smile a little bit, and crack a joke and drink a beer.

Obviously a lot has gone on, and I feel I am different person, I haven't had a beer since New Year's, which is pretty big for me.

The mouth of a perfectly contented man is filled with beer. -Egyptian proverb, c. 2200 BCE

Let me assure you that I am not satisfied making $40-$50 million on the same volume of beer (as) CUB sells.

When dealing with complex transportation issues, the best thing to do is pull up with a cold beer and let somebody else figure it out.

When the beer is gone, so are they -- flexing their cars on up the boulevard.

I know I looked skinnier in The House Bunny, but thanks to my diet of beer and doughnuts, I'm back to my fightin' weight!'

A theater without beer is just a museum

So long as a man attends to his business the public does not count his drinks. When he fails they notice if he takes even a glass of root beer.

Usually, I'm on the bus by now, having a beer and waiting for everyone else. This is cutting into my beer time.