Beer Quotes

Your guess is as good as mine. Better probably, because you haven't had four beers.

I'd tried to straighten him out, but there's only so much you can do for a person who thinks Auschwitz is a brand of beer.

When you have too many beers, you become like a control freak on everything.

Beer must be made by food companies. It makes you wander the streets at 3 am looking for things to eat. "What's that, is it moving, get it!! It's a nun! Fry her!! Fry her!"

I have a personal ritual. Just like 10 minutes before a show, I'll open a beer, just so it feels like I've just arrived at a party. I have a few sips, then we go on stage.

My voice? Yeah, well, I used to drink a lot of beer when I was a kid and I sounded like a drunk in a choir. I don't drink anymore.

You are an alchemist who can turn six beers into an awkward three week relationship.

I drink alone. Yeah, with nobody else. You know when I drink alone, I prefer to be by myself.

I don't understand why a 40 is a quarter of beer when a 40 is 40 ounces. It's time to embrace the metric system.

I haven't had a very good day. I think I might still be hung over and everyone's dead and my root beer's gone.

I don't think I've actually drunk a beer for 15 years, except a few Guinnesses in Dublin, where it's the law.

Bruges is a beautiful medieval city almost untouched by time. If you like jazz, you will be well catered for. If you like chocolate and beer, you will be in heaven.

British Beatitudes! ... Beer, beef, business, bibles, bulldogs, battleships, buggery and bishops.

Bud Light....the perfect beer for marketers about to lose their job.

President Obama had beer with four unemployed construction workers. And Obama asked the guys what was it like to lose their jobs, and they were like, 'Oh, you'll see.'

I will veto every single beer, um, bill with earmarks.

I drink a few beers, and I've smoked a little pot. But I'm too health conscious to do it regularly. I run a lot. I don't smoke cigarettes. Pot is the hardest thing I've tried, really.

I wrote this speech thinking this was going to be it. It's not it. You guys went and screwed up my whole speech. We've got to come back here on Tuesday and drink some more beer.

The world would be a better place if people stopped voting for folksy candidates they could have a beer with and started voting for people smarter than they are.

I find the only thing that really stands up, better than gambling, better than booze, better than women, is reading.

A bee rose up from a sun-filled paper cup, off to make slum honey from some diet root beer it had found inside.

I usually need a can of beer to prime me.

Be always decent and right in your home town; and when you're on the road, never take more than four glasses of beer a day or play higher than a twenty-five-cent limit.

What two ideas are more inseparable than beer and Britannia?

Beer. It always seems like such a good idea at the time, doesn't it? What's worse is beer seems like an even better idea after you've had some beer.

Hell's a dry heat too. It still sucks. Let me know if you pull anything. I'm gonna go get a cold beer and pour it down my pants.

I'd give a hundred dollars for a cold beer.

I suspect states are going to realize there's money to be made, and they'll start to change laws so people can distil to sell. It happened with wine, it happened with beer.

We may not know who is craft beer but we sure as hell will know what is craft beer by who isn't.

Beer is sacred business, a mood-altering food substance that may have preserved the human species. To drink beer is to be human.

Beer is a gift from the goddesses, a soothing balm given our species to bring joy and comfort in compensation for the curse of self-awareness, the awful realization of our mortality

Drinking can not be sacramentalised except in religions which set no store on decorum. The worship of Dionysos or the Celtic god of beer was a loud and disorderly affair.

I want to go to a place where I can go to a football game, take off my shirt, paint my chest and major in beer.

If someone from Germany or somewhere, who had no idea what baseball was, saw Kruk play, he'd wonder what the beer truck driver was doing playing first base.

Subtract out the impact and the fall is all you get. So here's two beers to remember why and three more to forget.

Obama doesn't seem like a burger and a beer kind of guy. I have to say, I don't find that problematic at all.

Even on the Serengeti, it ain't a barbecue if there ain't some kind of beer.

Milk are for babies, when you get older you drink beer.

I can't afford no liquor, all I can buy is beer and wine.

Well, as he brews, so shall he drink.

They can have my beer when they pry it out of my cold, dead hand.

If you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm. Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants to see us happy.

Beer is God's way of telling us that he loves us and wants us to be happy.

I really liked Beyond The Valley Of The Dolls and a couple of others, but with these kinds of movies the best part is the 'talking about it over a beer afterwards' bit - and once is kind of enough.

When you're underperforming the index, you go home at night and cry in your beer. It's not fun, but who said this business should be fun. We're too well paid to hang our heads and say boo hoo.

I love the Tea Party. They are the ultimate beer goggles. They make everything look better.

I'm celebrating my love for you with a pint of beer and a new tattoo

The piano sounds like a carnival and the microphone smells like a beer. And they sit at the bar and put bread in my jar and say, man, what are you doing here?

You've got yoga, I've got beer. You got overpriced, I got weird.

Draft beer, not people.