Comedian Quotes

Imagine the Creator as a low comedian, and at once the world becomes explicable.

I'm not a comedian. I'm Lenny Bruce.

Molly Shannon and I used to always talk about that we really felt strongly that we were comedic actors, that we weren't comedians. You just played things real and the comedy came out of the context.

An offended audience member repeating a comedian's act from memory is worse than, literally, anything.

It's so clear cut with a comedian - you have that reflex action, whereby you laugh or you don't. And so you either love us or you simply cannot see why people are laughing.

I was considered by my peers to be a good comedian. So that's all I ever strived to do was get some recognition from my peers.

I'm friends with a lot of comedians, but we don't talk about material. Most comedians I know don't watch a lot of other comedy.

I think of a lot of comedy being watched alone, for some reason. It's surprising to me that people are getting together to watch stand-up comedy.

I sometimes throw in a couple of swears just to keep the Christian right off my tail. I wouldn't want to be the tea party's go-to comedian.

All that the comedian has to show for his years of work and aggravation is the echo of forgotten laughter.

Rick Shapiro is a top comedian.

There is a very difficult period in a comedian's career - it's that window of time where you're good enough to draw tickets but nobody knows you yet.

Unfortunately, the show's success comes at the expense of its biggest asset -- the comedians themselves.

And I'm up while the dawn is breaking, even though my heart is aching. I should be drinking a toast to absent friends instead of these comedians.

A comedian needs to have his own filters, needs to know his audience, how far he can push things.

I'm not a comedian. I didn't study sketch comedy; my background isn't that.

I considered myself a professional comedian because the club would pay me $20.

Up North you are holding your own. Everyone considers themselves a comedian.

Comedians are sociologists. We're pointing out stuff that the general public doesn't even stop to think about, looking at life in slow-motion and questioning everything we see.

You say you're a comedian, you always have to be on guard.

I think my speeches are hilarious. I think I'm a natural comedian, but I like denying people the chance to laugh. I want to deny you the relief of the punchline.

Comedy is crowded. There are hundreds of comedians in every place in the world.

By watching the great, old comedians I picked up a few tricks about how to do physical comedy. And whenever I could learn something, I sort of added that to my repertoire.

I must admit I am nervous about getting Alzheimer's. Once it hits, I might tell my best joke and never know it.

I was just a young guy who was excited to become a comedian and an actor and I just wanted to get to do what I got to do.

Stand-up comedy is a science. Every comedian is a psychology major, naturally.

In a more intellectually rigorous age, I wouldn't be talked about as a satirist at all. I would just be a topical comedian.

I think comedians start off as pranksters or something.

I guess I still feel that I'm a comedian; if I had to pick one thing that I feel like I could do, it would be that. That doesn't mean that I like it, but I feel that's what I am.

I would say most comedians have a very cynical worldview of the way the world can work. It's almost like if you didn't, you couldn't be a comedian.

I didn't plan on being a comedian. I didn't plan on getting married and I didn't plan on having kids, but I did all those things.

It's annoying when people do that so-called comedians impression of me when it's stupid nonsense.

My grandfather was running Hillcrest Country Club, and that's where a whole group of Hollywood comedians hung out.

The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh, at a minimum of once every fifteen seconds.

Comedians still make fun of Bill's out-of-control appetites, but with Hillary, the mockery is about how she lets nothing be out of control.

I have a funny sense of humor. If I was a comedian and I was up on stage, people would think that's funny, because I'm a funny comedian. I'm an entertainer.

Comedians by and large are some of the most sensitive people on earth. Even if they're socially callous.

The comedians I liked were Bill Cosby and Steven Wright, like just always as a comedic actor. I always liked Gary Larson, who's really funny for a cartoonist, obviously.

George Carlin was great right up to the end of his life. But Richard Pryor was probably the best, most gifted stand-up comedian who will ever live.

Having a human conversation is not something I've had any training in either as a comedian or as, you know, a human being.

I'm a comedian, for God's sake. Viewers shouldn't trust me. And you know what? They're hip enough to know they shouldn't trust me. I'm just doing stand-up comedy.

I mean, the death in the late eighties and early nineties really shook out a lot of hacks. The pond just sort of dried up for a lot of really bad comedians.

I'm such a comedy fan that I just love laughing and so admire comedians who have brought me joy.

I don't make much distinction between being a stand-up comic and acting Shakespeare - in fact, unless you're a good comedian, you're never going to be able to play Hamlet properly.

It seemed to me you could do anything in comics. So I started doing my thing, which is mainly influenced by novelists, stand-up comedians, that sort of thing

When somebody mangles one of my jokes, that bothers me more than somebody saying that I'm the worst comedian ever.

It's good to be funny when you are a comedian.

Pacifism is a nice idea but it can get you killed. We're not there yet. Evolution is slow, small pox is fast.

But it's fun to be something, have that, and you don't have to be real. It's like, comedians. They go on and they're doing all these jokes. I would be like that if I were more awake

Every comedian comes to a fork in the road where they have to decide if they're going to make jokes about other people or make jokes about themselves. I chose myself.