Comedy Funny Quotes
James Caan told me at the end of filming 'Elf' that he had been waiting through the whole film for me to be funny - and I never was.
MY FRIEND: SO DO YOU TAKE A FOREIGN LANGUAGE CLASS?ME: SURE DO HAVE BEEN FOR THE LAST 13 YEARS.MY FRIEND: COOL WHAT LANGUAGE?ME: MATH.
Her mouth set. "I've already lost one man I loved tonight. I will not lose the other." She glared at him. "And curse you, you stone head, for making me say it first.
I simply regard romantic comedies as a subgenre of sci-fi, in which the world created therein has different rules than my regular human world.
Beside me, Philippe and Meg hold hands. He murmurs something that sounds like, "my dear leetle mongoose." I wish he'd turn back into a frog and hop away.
I didn't actually know what regret tasted like—but I imagined if it did have a flavor, it would be lutefisk.
Wisdom of the Ages: "Valentine's Day" Because she never forgets, especially if you do.
It's always funny that you can try and try again to steal all your critics' ammo, predict their responses, but no matter what, they'll still have a water gun stashed somewhere.
If you want to say, Lucia, there is no inside of the park benches, I won’t argue with you. But, then you have to say where the pigeons come from.
I guess we're oil and water. (Phoebe)I'd say we're more like gasoline and a blowtorch. (Dan)
She moved like water, graceful and soft and lovely. Every part of me wanted to stick out my foot and trip her, just to see her stumble.
Why must this be so mortifying? Oh, that's right. Because its my life.
I won't say that you're pretty because that dog already did. And I won't say you're funny because you have had me laughing since I met you.
If ye canna see the bright side o' life, polish the dull side
You guys dated, didn’t you?”“Are you insane? Not even if the continuation of our kind depended on it would I be tempted to do something so awful.
I am a vicious and unrepentant killer who should be locked up. With him, my idiot boyfriend.
Sneaky would be a lime-green Volkswagen. Nobody would suspect the assassins in the lime-green Volkswagen.
Rumo!" said Rumo. "That's right!" Smyke exclaimed. "You Rumo, me Smyke." "You Rumo, me Smyke." Rumo repeated eagerly. "No, no." Smyke chuckled.
He was warm, partly because he had on many layers, and partly because boys whoa re part wolf and part wind do not get cold.
His life was a constant war with insensate objects that fell apart, or attacked him, or refused to function, or viciously got themselves lost as soon as they entered the sphere of his existence.
I angle my head down and peer up at him through my lashes in what I hope is an alluring manner. I have zero experience in this area though, so it’s possible I look like a total moron.
What's the matter, fairy boy? Pissed because Chrys rather kiss me?" - Essence (Nymphs of Macedonia Trilogy #1)
I thought you came down right on the side of go directly to jail, do not pass Go, do not collect two hundred dollars.
A drunken but exceedingly depressed German clown from Munich entertained the public.
Four different kinds of Tater Tots?" I felt overwhelmed by culinary confusion. "Why would anyone need so many? Chili. Sweet potato. Blue?
Why would any writer in her right mind ever consider making a movie instead? That's like going from being a monk or a nun to serving as a camp counselor for hundreds of problem children.
People don’t just appear on the beach unless they’re demigods or gods or really, really lost pizza delivery guys. (It’s happened—but that’s another story.)
I’ve written for the waste basket so often that we’ve become friends. He writes too, but it’s mostly garbage.
You're gonna sit down. You're gonna shut up. And by the grace of God Almighty, I ain't gonna kill you.
Every morning I read the obituaries. If it ain't there I make myself a cup of tea and carry on like I have the past century or so.
I began to think I quite liked her really. It's always so nice to meet someone more badly behaved than oneself.
Liza took her time sipping her tea. “That’s what I hear Janet. Of course, living it up can take years off your life and add them to your face.
When Johnny Depp saw it, he was so excited he fluffed up to twice his normal size.
A breath?" she asked. She didn't want to kiss just any wooden man. He looked nice enough, but he might not be like his looks. A kiss seemed very forward. He might remember it, and make assumptions.
Seriously, why was it tradition to stand when the bride came in? It blocked her from seeing her groom, who was the only reason she was there in the first place.
I just finished running, and I look and smell like nothing very pleasant. Why, oh, why did he have to bump into me now?
He looked at the cash siting there "What's that for?" I made myself smile "A good time.