Comedy Funny Quotes

Didn’t expect to see you here, ” Jordan said.My eyes cut to Rachel, and I smiled sweetly. “Obviously. Hey, Rachel. Good to see you aga

Of course, Jules was not a wolf. She was an elephant. But Jules was a very young toy and she had never been to school to learn the difference.

Well, " I ask, leaning over him, "do you wish to stay?""I do.""And why is that, Cole?" I say, tipping toward him so that our noses nearly brush."Well, " he says with a smile, "the weather's quite nice.

You know, ” he says, voice still low.“I have had nothing but trouble since you walked into my life.” “I’d walk straight back out of it if only you’d let me.

These eggs are broken. Cracked.""Yes, ma'am. That happens sometimes.""Does it?""Yes, it's the unfortunate part of being an egg.

You always miss 100% of the shots you don't order

Oh, well, that's not bad, I suppose. I mean, I'd prefer devastatingly sophisticated - but almost endearing is more than I could have hoped for under the circumstances.

I hope the next time you get a double-decker strawberry ice-cream cone the ice cream part falls off the cone and lands in Australia.

Treat me like a joke, watch me leave you like its funny

You're boring me, M'Ordant. Go away." V'Aidan"You can't be bored." M'Ordant"And a good thing, too, since I'd no doubt perish from it while in your company." V'Aidan

I want you to get a haircut so you don't look like Ish Kabibble on a rainy night.

Not to alarm you or anything, but I think you just made a deal with a Mexican gang." I've read Simone Elkeles books. I know how this whole garage as a front thing works.

lying in bed with Johnny Depp sussing out which males are what kind of pet from their clothes.