Comedy Quotes

I love doing improv. I love comedy. I have always felt this way, even when I was really young.

Our comedies are not to be laughed at.

I will do comedy until the day I die: inappropriate comedy, funny comedy, gender-bending, twisting comedy, whatever comedy is out there.

The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.

The important question is, what will your wear for a wedding dress, Alexia? You look horrible in white.

Humor is the oxygen of children's literature. There's a lot of competition for children's time, but even kids who hate to read want to read a funny book.

A man should be taller, older, heavier, uglier, and hoarser than his wife.

Humor has become so cliche and boring that nothing's funny anymore unless it involves something totally disgusting that offends somebody or makes them feel really uncomfortable.

Whatever story you're telling, it will be more interesting if, at the end you add, "and then everything burst into flames.

The advantage of growing up with siblings is that you become very good at fractions.

We have always had gross humor. But we try for funny, not gross.

Comedy has to be done en clair. You can't blunt the edge of wit or the point of satire with obscurity. Try to imagine a famous witty saying that is not immediately clear.

I'm not a hypochondriac, but my gynaecologist firmly believes I am.

A philosopher is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat that isn't there. A theologian is the man who finds it.

This was not Aunt Dahlia, my good and kindly aunt, but my Aunt Agatha, the one who chews broken bottles and kills rats with her teeth.

I'm healthy as an ox. And you?" "To compare myself with a bovine would be both ridiculous and insulting, but I'm fit as ever, if that is what you are asking.

When I tell people I'm a comedian they say, 'Oh, are you funny?' I say, 'No, it's not that kind of comedy.'

I came from a real tough neighborhood. Why, every time I shut the window I hurt somebody's fingers.

Carol Burnett was particularly funny. She swore for the first time on television on Larry Sanders.

The best kind of comedy to me is when you make people laugh at things they've never laughed at, and also take a light into the darkened corners of people's minds, exposing them to the light.

Making people laugh is the lowest form of comedy.

To be honest, Im a little tired of playing bad guys. I long to do a comedy. But it was fun knocking Indiana Jones around.

Funny, when you finally faced reality, it was amazing how clearly you could see things.

I still do live concerts all over the country - about four a month - with singing and characters and improv. It keeps me limber. I'll never lose that. And comedy is still the bread and butter.

I'm not very funny in real life. I used to want to be a comedian when I was 13, 14, 15, till I saw "Death Of A Salesman" with Lee J. Cobb and Mildred Dunnock.

The popular definition of tragedy is heavy drama in which everyone is killed in the last act, comedy being light drama in which everyone is married in the last act.

Finding the funny is the key to never losing your edge

My comedy comes from pain. I can't stand to see someone hurting.

David Boreanaz is pretty funny. He's probably the one that cracks everybody up the most on set. He can be very serious as well, but when he's silly he's pretty silly.

Comedy is created when someone is trying very earnestly to do what he feels is the right thing to do at that moment.

You know what's funny to me? You know what's really funny to me? The fact that you've been calling Lita the walking kiss of death, but tonight.. the walking KOD beat the walking STD.

He is a [sane] man who can have tragedy in his heart and comedy in his head.

Comedy is very controlling - you are making people laugh.

Jackie Gleason said that comedy is the most exacting form of dramatic art, because it has an instant critic: laughter.

[Hillary Clinton] and I are fine. Are we going to be besties for the rest of our lives? No.

Comedy is acting out optimism.

If you look at any successful skit comedy show, ever, there is that format of introducing you to the player in the beginning, and then going on to see those sketches.

Comedy is so fun. I don't know how these people can make movies and work on them for four months and they're these sob stories. I don't know how emotionally you get through that.

It's funny how most activists are pacifists.

Among the masked dandies of Edwardian comedy, Max Beerbohm is the most happily armored by a deep and almost innocent love of himself as a work of art.

So many of these comics are just frustrated singers or actors - they want to get a gig doing a sitcom. It's paint-by-the-numbers comedy, lame joke-telling. They're drawn to it as a career move.

If I had to perform in a comedy club I would bomb; I would be trying too hard.

I have often said, and oftener think, that this world is a comedy to those that think, a tragedy to those that feel - a solution of why Democritus laughed and Heraclitus wept.

Knowing comedy is knowing human nature.

I am funny, but I'm not about funny... I'm about peace & justice.

I watch a happy person doing stand-up, and I go, "What the hell is this? This person's happy!" You need internal conflict. You need the guy to be out of step with society. It's a tool for comedy.

I love doing comedy. Absolutely love it. After 'Wedding Crashers,' people suddenly realized that it was something I could do.

I love comedy. Playing the underdog, and getting the laughs is my form of entertainment. I could think of nothing different that I would want to be doing at this time in my life.

What difference does it make how much you have? What you do not have amounts to much more.

I was doing sketches that were funny but socially irresponsible. I felt I was deliberately being encouraged and I was overwhelmed.