Comedy Quotes

We're taking part in a divine comedy and we should realise that the play is always a comedy, in that we're all ultimately ridiculous.

So, how did you all meet?

I feel things can always be funny, but that's probably because I have some kind of leftover childhood need to make people laugh. For somebody like me, that's the thing you excel at.

It's just as unpleasant to get more than you bargain for as to get less.

I changed the face of comedy. I used to be funny.

Not necessarily in the beginning, thinking I would have a career in comedy, but I was always interested in making people laugh.

I enjoy doing comedy for the fact that you go to work and you laugh. That's a good combination.

I better start doing stand up comedy in Spanish before every comedian in Mexico translates my jokes.

Gentlemen, we are being killed on the beaches. Lets go inland and be killed.

I like very dry humor. I dont like things that are over the top. I like subtlety. I like things that are nonchalant. I like characters that are sort of monotone and based in dark comedy.

I thought people would ask me really personal questions because I've shown more of myself, but it's a comedy, and people understand that it's a game we play.

It's funny because I went to a predominantly white school, but for some reason they always picked the musicals that were supposed to be done by totally black casts.

I do agree you can't just make movies three hours long for no apparent reason. For a romantic comedy to be three hours long, that's longer than most marriages.

Fame has sent a number of celebrities off the deep end, and in the case of Michael Jackson, to the kiddy pool.

That's the funny thing about religion: it doesn't matter what you say, you're going to upset someone.

Applaud my friends, the comedy is over... [on his death bed]

It's funny how you realize what's important, and it's not fame and money, even though it can be really nice. It's happiness and whatever it takes to make you feel happy.

There are a lot of great jokes you can sit down and write, but that's just a written joke, versus the comedy of the situation. Ideally, you're pulling as much comedy out of the situation as you can.

It's funny what happens when you become a grandparent. You start to act all goofy and do things you never thought you'd do. It's terrific.

I am a guy who talks about bacon and escalators.

Dying is easy. Comedy is hard.

Comedy, although it is not one of the fine arts - it's a vulgar art, it's one of the people's arts, it's the spoken word, the writing that goes into it is an art form - it's certainly artistry.

Comedy is so hard to do, so it was very cool to do dead pan humor.

It's funny with fiction - once you cut something, it hasn't happened anymore.

Good comedy is ageless.

You can't always go to the well and have things be funny.

Even in comedies, you've got to feel safe for things to just happen in a way that is natural and free, and recognizable as human.

I'd like to make you laugh for about ten minutes though I'm gonna be on for an hour.

It's funny how aimless a person can feel at times, even when they know God is in control.

99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

It's funny - people think analysis or psychiatry is mad, and THEY go to CHURCH.

Old radio comedy makes me laugh, as well as 'I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue' and comedians like Paul Merton.

[Thine] face is not worth sunburning.

Randy lay there like a slug. It was his only defense.

I'm the only man in the world with a marriage licence made out to whom it may concern.

I don't know where my ideas come from. I will admit, however, that one key ingredient is caffeine. I get a couple cups of coffee into me and weird things just start to happen.

We must have been hunters and gatherers but some of us were just waiters and hopers.

They say money talks, but all mine ever says is 'good-bye sucker.

Ladies pick funny things to be proud of.

Don't gobblefunk around with words.

If a problem is clearly stated, it has no further interest to the physicist.

I got my wife a mood ring. It works real good! When shes in a good mood it turns blue, but when shes in a bad mood theres a red mark across my forehead

Brought up to respect the conventions, love had to end in marriage. I'm afraid it did.

There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together.

The reason I turn down 99% of a hundred, I mean a thousand, scripts is because romantic comedies are often very romantic but seldom very funny.

Yeah, well, wish in one hand, crap in the other, and see which fills up first

What about a compromise? I’ll kill them first, and if it turns out they were friendly, I’ll apologize.

I feel that a lot of British comedy is often too bombastic, too obvious, dressing up and shouting and pulling funny faces.

The weasel under the cocktail cabinet.

My comedy is different every time I do it. I don't know what the hell I'm doing.