Comedy Quotes

Humanity is a comic role.

My comedy is for children from three to 93. You do need a slightly childish sense of humour and if you haven't got that, it's very sad.

You will not kill my girlfriend today, International Terrorists of Ambiguous Nationality!

I realized my family was funny, because nobody ever wanted to leave our house.

If I can make a teacher's salary doing comedy, I think that's better than being a teacher.

Nothing gives you confidence like being a member of a small, weirdly specific, hard-to-find demographic.

Standing in the corridor was a large plastic bin on wheels. He looked inside. Empty tins of dog food. That explained the spaghetti with meat sauce. Oh well, he'd eaten worse.

I'm in the mood for another Moonstruck experience, for another romantic comedy.

Be able to go shopping for a bathing suit and not become depressed afterward.

Wow, we're identical!

The scientist believes in proof without certainty, the bigot in certainty without proof.

Whitney Houston’s cover of “I Will Always Love You” was constantly on my FM Walkman radio around that time. I think that made me cry because I associated it with absolutely no one.

Fast food is hugely important in the life of a comedy writer. All we do is order in, and what we're going to eat is hotly debated.

Comedy is allied to justice.

My show is my statement. What I have to say is on the screen. My life is my own. I don't want to talk about my private self. Why should I?

It's usually the funny comments which are the better ones - and they are good for the game.

First of all, I find everything funny, which is upsetting to my children sometimes, and to people in my life, in general.

It's funny because the most sane women I've ever met are my mom and my grandmothers. I think you have to be incredibly sane and self-aware to function in relatively insane environments.

I want to stretch myself. Another reason why I'm so fortunate is that this is a drama and I've been brought up in comedy.

In comedy, something may be more absurd, but you have to believe just as much as you do when you're doing drama.

I think if you turn down the volume on the good comedy, you should not even know if it's a comedy or not. It should look like a drama.

Unless you're Jack Lemmon or Cary Grant, there are few guys who can do comedy and drama.

If you work at comedy too laboriously, you can kill what's funny in the joke.

The great irony is that women are accused of making romantic comedies, as if it’s a bad thing, but Marc Webb makes a romantic comedy and he gets ‘Spider-Man.’ Are you kidding me? You cannot win.

In movies, comedy and tragedy are all the same.

Even in college I tended to get cast in the comedies more. It was what I liked doing.

I don't love comedy but I can watch someone who's kind of interesting forever. I think a waitress who's having a bad day is a lot more fun than Robin Williams doing forty minutes of material.

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.

The only weapon I've got is comedy

I am not sure gender ever won't be an issue in comedy, because I think that women do have different priorities in some respects.

Isn't it funny the way some combinations of words can give you--almost apart from their meaning--a thrill like music?

I like being a funny lady. I think theres nothing sexier than a funny lady.

Comedy is just complaining in an entertaining way, Enterplaining.

I wasn't funny as a kid. I remember enjoying comedians, but I never understood it was a job choice or a profession.

I'm a sponge. I'm obsessed with comedy. I'm obsessed with the idea that you can make somebody laugh, and I love to be around people who can make other people laugh.

Comedy holds the greatest risk for an actor, and laughter is the reward.

When you're hot, you're hot; when you're not, you're not.

Funny, 'ow you can 'old a jewel in your 'and, and toss it away, and not even know what you 'ad until it's gone.

Mmm, tastes like hepatitis!

Inconceivable!" "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

In comedy, you see yourself as a newcomer and then you realize you've been doing it for 18, 20 years, which is ridiculous.

I like a certain style of show, I like a certain pace, I like a rhythm, I like a lot of comedy in with my drama.

I like to find comedy or something interesting to look at with whatever I'm working on.

I'm a comedian, for God's sake. Viewers shouldn't trust me. And you know what? They're hip enough to know they shouldn't trust me. I'm just doing stand-up comedy.

There's no in between-you're either good or bad. We were in between.

When the American people get through with the English language, it will look as if it had been run over by a musical comedy.

I feel like we can prove in real time the old trope that comedy is tragedy plus time.

When a man does exactly what a woman expects him to do she doesn't think much of him. One should always do what a woman doesn't expect, just as one should say what she doesn't understand.

Jackass: The Movie is great. I think it's in the tradition of physical comedy, which I'm really interested in. Its relationship to gravity, and how gravity acts on the body

Good taste is the enemy of comedy.