Comedy Quotes

Inconceivable!" "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

Comedy holds the greatest risk for an actor, and laughter is the reward.

Comedy is just complaining in an entertaining way, Enterplaining.

I'm a sponge. I'm obsessed with comedy. I'm obsessed with the idea that you can make somebody laugh, and I love to be around people who can make other people laugh.

When you're hot, you're hot; when you're not, you're not.

In comedy, you see yourself as a newcomer and then you realize you've been doing it for 18, 20 years, which is ridiculous.

I like a certain style of show, I like a certain pace, I like a rhythm, I like a lot of comedy in with my drama.

I'm a comedian, for God's sake. Viewers shouldn't trust me. And you know what? They're hip enough to know they shouldn't trust me. I'm just doing stand-up comedy.

When the American people get through with the English language, it will look as if it had been run over by a musical comedy.

I know these jokes aren't great, ladies and gentlemen, see this is the problem you run into when you're between impeachments.

Right now, I'd like to just continue on a series where I am doing good work with a balance of comedy and drama. That and do occasional features and movies.

So far, this is the oldest I've been.

What is so funny about us is precisely that we take ourselves too seriously. Laughter is the same and healthy response to the innocent foibles of men; and even to some which are not innocent.

You've got to be rich to have a swing like that.

What is funny about us is precisely that we take ourselves too seriously.

I'm trying my hand at writing. I'm writing a couple of projects for HBO, a half hour comedy and a miniseries.

In the U.K. I'm probably better known as a comedy writer - or certainly that's my background is in writing comedy.

I'm funny. I'm a comedian. I'm not a clown.

I wouldn't say that comedy brought me away from it.I think that my idea of faith was another obligation in my life.

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.

The great irony is that women are accused of making romantic comedies, as if it’s a bad thing, but Marc Webb makes a romantic comedy and he gets ‘Spider-Man.’ Are you kidding me? You cannot win.

If you work at comedy too laboriously, you can kill what's funny in the joke.

Comedy is like expensive cheese. Well, it's like cheese, in general. Everybody likes what they like, and everything they don't like, they think is the worst.

I've known Harvey for over 40 years and I worked with him on the Burnett show for 11 years. I guess you could say we're about as close as you can get to being a comedy team.

People talk about songwriting or comedy as creative expression, but life is creative expression. Table-making, even nursing, is extraordinarily creative.

One of the things that we love most about our comedy [ American Reunion] is that it goes all-out.

I'm going to try really hard not to be bossy, but I've only done stand-up comedy and then my own show where you're the total boss of everything!

If you can't be funny, be interesting.

Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.

When you've been doing comedy for forty years, you really do know most of the jokes. And even if you don't know a specific joke, you can pretty much guess what it's going to be.

I think you figure out how to be funny by necessity. It's not a natural thing, being funny in the face of tragedy is kind of demented.

But comedy I'd love to do as much as humanly possible.

I started selling out comedy clubs before I got to town with no advertising. I was selling out theaters just on the rumor that I was going to be there.

I must have a drink of breakfast.

There are two things you can't argue in film: comedy and eroticism. If something doesn't make you laugh, no one can tell you why it's funny, and it's difficult to reason someone out of an erection.

Comedy is in my blood. Too bad it's not in my act.

Comedy has a responsibility to be a voice of society, so within that, there's always going to be those that talk about those subjects and things that are going on in the world.

Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.

My second hit was a flop.

Comedy has always been more challenging for me than drama.

Stand-up comedy is a science. Every comedian is a psychology major, naturally.

But I think funny and talent will always win out; I mean, of course there are hurdles, but I think if you're funny you will get over all of that.

I've noticed a funny thing about people who are over-weight. They spend all their time thinking about food -except when they're actually eating it

It’s funny now, trying to socialise with people. There’s this cautiousness about people which I just find really weird.

Now people want what the movie was about, which is violent comedy. And that's really what The Aristocrats is based on - what will a family do out of desperation.

Whenever I go overseas I buy funny eyelashes. For example the same brand that are in Japan and England are different styles. So I bought both.

Wolves never look more funny than when they have lost the scent and scrabble to find it again: they hop in the air; they run in circles, they plow up the ground with their noses . . . .

If we were truly created by God, why do we occasionally bite the insides of our mouths?

If I hadn't become a celebrity, I'd probably be an alcoholic.

Comedy is there to basically show us we fart, we laugh, to make us realize we still are part animal.