Comedy Quotes

Gentlemen, start your egos!

Postmodern comedy doesn't work well with very old audiences, because it's making fun of the comedy they enjoy.

The French complain of everything, and always.

I think that you can fall into bad habits with comedy... It's a tightrope to stay true to the character, true to the irony, and allow the irony to happen.

You're funny, and you're smart, and you may show up late, but you always show up eventually.

My first time on stage was the class "graduation" at the Comedy Store. It was awesome. Everything got huge laughs and I just thought I knew how to do comedy.

I've known Harvey for over 40 years and I worked with him on the Burnett show for 11 years. I guess you could say we're about as close as you can get to being a comedy team.

People talk about songwriting or comedy as creative expression, but life is creative expression. Table-making, even nursing, is extraordinarily creative.

One of the things that we love most about our comedy [ American Reunion] is that it goes all-out.

I'm going to try really hard not to be bossy, but I've only done stand-up comedy and then my own show where you're the total boss of everything!

If you can't be funny, be interesting.

Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.

When you've been doing comedy for forty years, you really do know most of the jokes. And even if you don't know a specific joke, you can pretty much guess what it's going to be.

I think you figure out how to be funny by necessity. It's not a natural thing, being funny in the face of tragedy is kind of demented.

But comedy I'd love to do as much as humanly possible.

I started selling out comedy clubs before I got to town with no advertising. I was selling out theaters just on the rumor that I was going to be there.

I must have a drink of breakfast.

There are two things you can't argue in film: comedy and eroticism. If something doesn't make you laugh, no one can tell you why it's funny, and it's difficult to reason someone out of an erection.

Comedy is in my blood. Too bad it's not in my act.

Comedy has a responsibility to be a voice of society, so within that, there's always going to be those that talk about those subjects and things that are going on in the world.

Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.

My second hit was a flop.

Comedy is like expensive cheese. Well, it's like cheese, in general. Everybody likes what they like, and everything they don't like, they think is the worst.

I put heavy emphasis on the characters.

If I hadn't become a celebrity, I'd probably be an alcoholic.

Comedy is there to basically show us we fart, we laugh, to make us realize we still are part animal.

You can leave in a huff. Or you can leave in a minute and a huff.

Comedy can be a cathartic way to deal with personal trauma.

Funny how we think of romance as always involving two, when the romance of solitude can be ever so much more delicious and intense.

I've never really been a big fan of comedy songs, frankly. I think I enjoy the emotional payoff that the best music achieves to want to waste too much time turning good music into a joke.

Comedy has always been more challenging for me than drama.

If we were truly created by God, why do we occasionally bite the insides of our mouths?

Wolves never look more funny than when they have lost the scent and scrabble to find it again: they hop in the air; they run in circles, they plow up the ground with their noses . . . .

Whenever I go overseas I buy funny eyelashes. For example the same brand that are in Japan and England are different styles. So I bought both.

Now people want what the movie was about, which is violent comedy. And that's really what The Aristocrats is based on - what will a family do out of desperation.

It’s funny now, trying to socialise with people. There’s this cautiousness about people which I just find really weird.

I've noticed a funny thing about people who are over-weight. They spend all their time thinking about food -except when they're actually eating it

But I think funny and talent will always win out; I mean, of course there are hurdles, but I think if you're funny you will get over all of that.

Stand-up comedy is a science. Every comedian is a psychology major, naturally.

I can pretty much guarantee that if I do a show in a comedy club, there will be someone who will come out of the audience and tell me the worst joke ever. It's just a guarantee.

Is not the decisive difference between comedy and tragedy that tragedy denies us another chance?

I would love to do comedy. I think I'm funny and that comedy is my strong suit, at least in real life. I have yet to prove myself in the movies, but I'd love to get the opportunity to do that.

It's good to be funny when you are a comedian.

Grant me some wild expressions, Heavens, or I shall burst.

I would love to work with Sir Anthony Hopkins. How and why that would happen in a comedy I'm not sure - why he would be dragged over to my side, or I'd be be dragged over to his side.

It's that I wasn't suited to do the kind of comedy that these people were coming to hear - mainstream comedy.

I pay a bit more than lip-service to health: I don't eat chips or pre-prepared food, and it might be a comedy sacrilege to admit I do like vegetables, fruit and salad and stuff.

I left Indiana, and I ain't been back since. I've been doing comedy and paying my bills.

What is there to say about ChUC other than it's a comedy show done the right way in the right space. Fantastic comics, welcoming audience. Always great.

I get all of my comedy from CNN.