Comedy Quotes

Stand-up comedy is the most relaxing thing I do. If I want to unwind and de-stress, I go out and do stand-up, often several shows in a night.

Comedy is so hard; it's so much harder than drama. The pacing of it, the energy of it.

Men mourn for what they have lost; women for what they ain't got.

It's really funny because the same people who loved me as Stringer Bell were the same people that were watching Daddy's Little Girls literally in tears.

I like to play different types roles, but I'd like to do a comedy next.

My paintings and comedy have a lot in common. They are both improvisations based on observation.

[Hollywood] is obviously so fake, but then comedy is this little carve-out of sincerity. I love it. I get to be funny and do this.

I blame Hollywood for skewing perspectives. Life is just a big romantic comedy to them, and if you meet cute, happily ever-after is a forgone conclusion.

It's funny how everyone has a bizarre relationship with Google. The knowledge is there, but no one knows how to use it right.

I love sketch comedy. My real goal is to do something with Albert Brooks. That would be my fantasy. I stay up night and day thinking up stuff he might find funny.

I'm a big fan of Albert Brooks, Nichols and May. I'd like to follow in their footsteps and do comedy films.

Christina can sing all the notes, but Britney is just hot!

But I just think I was lucky enough to figure out early on that I wanted to do comedy, so that's what I put all my effort into.

I never thought of myself in comedy at all... I loved going to the theatre and seeing people wearing beautiful clothes come down the staircase and start to dance.

But that hair? That is comedy entrapment. People are not attacking your hair, they are defending themselves from something that appears like it's about to attack them.

Comedy speaks for civilization; farce bears an ill-concealed, sometimes unconcealed animus against civilization. Often against civility too.

I still think funny, and people young and old still come and see me. That's flattering. The day comes that they stop coming, then I'll know that it's time to retire to the Jewish ranch.

There's always been physical suffering in comedy.

I don't think just funny is enough on Broadway.

I didn't take anything from anyone - first of all. Second of all, I opened a comedy club with money that I saved over 25 years. I created jobs.

I had never been to second base.

Well, the funny thing is, you are never the same person that you were the day before.

I also want to return to doing stand-up. I've become frightened of live audiences. This is a really telling sign that I need to go back on the comedy circuit again.

Comedy's so subjective, and if someone comes to watch, doesn't get it, doesn't find it funny, then fine.

Then my first film was something called Cannibal Girls, which sounds like a horror movie but was actually kind of a goofy comedy with horror elements. Like a horror spoof.

We're more effective than birth control pills.

There is a lot of comedy in magic, and magic going wrong, and also it is a dramatic subject.

I was so keen to become a comedian that actually doing the comedy itself almost came second.

You just try to be true to your idea of what is funny and what is also interesting.

Drama or comedy programming is still the surest way for advertisers to reach a mass audience. Once that changes, all bets are off.

I thought I should forget Hollywood and go back to Hong Kong. I'm so lucky that finally Hollywood accepts my comedy fighting.

I would like to do comedy. I can be a bit of a Jim Carrey. I was always the class clown.

But the funny thing is, I broke my finger not on set doing kung fu. I broke my finger when I fell down the stairs prior to going on set.

It's funny... you can make fun of AIDS or Haiti, but if you make fun of some starlet in Hollywood's looks? That's like the one thing... the line you are not to cross.

Running my show is really like an actor being in repertory but where, in one day in one performance, you do scenes from a drama, a farce, a low comedy and a tragedy.

Just put down 9/11... I think, on most things I'm liberal, except on defending ourselves and keeping half the money. Those things I'm kind of conservative on.

It's funny, there aren't too many musicians that also moonlight as studio engineers. There's a few - the really brilliant ones.

I thought I was funny as a kid. I used to play tricks on my brothers - I'd tie a two-shilling piece to a bit of cotton, then pull it away as they went to grab it.

I am a guy who talks about bacon and escalators. Stand-up comedy is very much a conversation. It's very personal, stylistically.

When I started stand-up - and this is in the '90s - there was definitely people hadn't watched decades of Comedy Central, where people are really much more educated on stand-up comedy.

Some of my fear and anxieties surrounding faith, I think, provides some good comedy for my act.

I think growing up in Indiana prepares anyone for a life in comedy. I do feel like there is a certain kind of self-effacing cynicism among all Hoosiers.

I think it's very funny that someone would exaggerate to make himself look worse.

One of my biggest problems with comedy was that I did not understand some of the jokes.

When I do comedy, I lose all inhibition and introspection. I no longer care.

Creative comedy is like growing geraniums in a mine field.

Success is the enemy of comedy.

The basis of tragedy is man's helplessness against disease, war and death; the basis of comedy is man's helplessness against vanity (the vanity of love, greed, lust, power).

I'd really been wanting to do a television series. I was looking for a comedy.

Comedy is hard to do. All the cliches about it are true.