Comedy Quotes

Don't improve it into a flop!

I always loved acting and improv and sketch comedy and theater, which I did at a local youth theater.

Especially when you deal with comedy, you have got to be really honest because it's the honesty and the spontaneity that causes people to chuckle, that catches people.

I will always love to perform standup comedy.

My favorite work is The Full Monty because I got an Oscar for it. But it was really hard work at the time. Sometimes comedy is not a bundle of laughs to actually do.

If one official signals Falcons ball and Seahawks quarterback Russell Wilson signals Seahawks ball, is it a jump ball?

In my sick brain, gruesome violence and comedy go as hand-to-hand together as anything else in the world.

In television, and especially in a situation comedy, you kind of play yourself, or at least the essence of yourself.

It's really funny if two women stand on the House floor. There are usually at least two men who go by and say, 'What is this, a coup?' They're almost afraid to see us in public together.

For me, if you distill comedy down, it is surprise and the unexpected. That has to be it on its most base level, in any form.

I think comedy is more my instinct and more what I'm geared towards.

I don't think comedy comes from hotbeds of doing shtick. I think it usually comes from some kind of childhood humiliation or darkness.

I would be really excellent in a horror film because I have a great scream. I'd be really good in a comedy too. I'm top, top, top quality.

I loved Japan. I used to read a lot about it when I was a child. And I always wanted to go. And it was delightful. I absolutely loved it. What a smashing place.

You can't have good comedy without drama in it.

There's got to be structure and great comedy. When you start with that, everything else falls into place.

It is funny, I don't feel old enough to give advice... But with the advisers you trust, you better listen to them. It may be bad news but that's the only way you're going to improve.

I've never done a comedy club in my life. It's weird because I don't have the same background as most comics. I don't have a history of going up and only doing eight minutes.

It's funny what a few no-hitters do for a body.

Germans respond well to lies. At least, they always have historically.

Really I'm a fan of any movie, whether it's suspense, action, or comedy, anything that has a good story.

Physical comedy is my favorite thing in the world to do.

I don't want to sit and cry for an hour in a movie. I'd rather have an action or a comedy.

It's mighty funny. The end of time has just begun.

If there's anything I hate more than a stupid action comedy, it's an incompetent stupid action comedy. It's not so bad it's good. It's so bad it's nothing else but bad.

Comedy is exaggerated realism. It can be stretched to the almost ludicrous, but it must always be believable.

Ed Simmons and I became stars in the emerging medium of television. We were new and fresh, just like TV at the time, so we automatically became 'THE' comedy writers for television.

If I bring anything to the table, it's the fact that not everybody realizes they're funny. So I just point a finger.

In television, women can really run anything. It can be a comedy, it can be a drama, it can be genre, it can be anything. But in films, women are still getting to the top

In comedy, I hate that cop-out where you say, "Just kidding." I know you're just kidding. Don't insult my intelligence by spelling it out for me that much.

I've mainly been in dramas, so this is one of my first comedy kind of performances in Cecil B. Demented.

To be perfectly honest, drama is a lot simpler than comedy.

There's something about Marxism that brings out warts; the only kind of growth this economic system encourages.

It shows the truth - that the real meaning of a word is only as powerful or harmless as the emotion behind it.

I always loved comedy, but it never seemed like something that I could do professionally.

Don't get me wrong, there are sometimes if I go and see a really funny comedy, that I wished I had smoked a joint. I'll be honest with you. That's the truth.

You know, dramas are much more expensive to do than say a comedy, so any kind of deficit like that is picked up on when it comes time for them to pick up new shows.

Maybe I'll just become a cartoon character because there's nothing left for me to do in an R-rated comedy.

My portrayal of Fagin was all to do with my experience in comedy and revue.

it's a funny thing about Hollywood. Once you've been out here awhile, it's hard to go someplace else, and it gets harder the longer you stay here. Takes some real propulsion to make you leave.

My perfect night would be going out to an awesome restaurant, then heading over to the Comedy Cellar to hang out with other comics, drinking beers and making fun of each other.

By the time I would have graduated, at 22, I was a writer and featured performer on Saturday Night Live.

I fed my ego, but not my soul.

I'll be supposed upon a book, his face is the worst thing about him.

If the shoe fits, buy another one just like it.

If you're funny, if there's something that makes you laugh, then every day's going to be okay.

But Dumbledore says he doesn't care what they do as long as they don't take him off the Chocolate Frog cards.

What kind of good deeds? Like Girl Scouts? Because I got kicked out of Brownies and they won't give me another chance to keep my clothes on at camp.

It’s not great when your husband thinks the only guy who can talk to you, is some other guy.

You'll be fine, just some minor burns and hypothermia, which was kind of hard to explain.