Comedy Quotes

There are secrets I will take to the grave and others I'd feel safer having cremated.

A funny thing is that you can't search me on Twitter because Adam Levine dominates there.

'Come out' is so funny to me because I've never been in.

After an author has been dead for some time, it becomes increasingly difficult for his publishers to get out a new book by him each year.

I don't know if it's a romantic comedy but I'm in the beginning of the first of the season of "The West Wing." We shot it last year. I don't know. If anyone asks me to be in one, I'll jump on it.

The funny thing is, I'm so used to not caring what anyone says, good or bad, that unfortunately even when people say good things I wish it made me feel good, but it doesn't.

I think comedy Ive learned is really just about relaxing and trusting yourself and allowing yourself to fail.

A lot of critics object to what I do, but I got into comedy to make people laugh, and I've always worked hard.

I've been a huge fan of the cable network FX for a very, very long time. I think their brand of comedy is incredible. For me, as an audience member, that's a go-to channel.

It is funny how you do not miss affection until it is given, but once it is, it can never be enough; you would drown in it if possible.

Never comment on a woman's rear end. Never use the words 'large' or 'size' with 'rear end'. Never. Avoid the area altogether. Trust me.

He has a 5 year plan... What is it, don't die?

Drama and comedy, to me ,are all about being surprising, coherent, and true, all at once.

That's the funny thing about old hurts- they just wait for new heartache to come along and then show up, just as sharp and horrible as the first day you woke up with the world changed all around you.

The funny thing about writing is I think a lot of people assume that you're sitting in a garret with a quill pen for hour after hour.

I have yet to see one of those Comedy Central shows with multiple standup comics that doesn't include someone the size of the Hindenburg.

Years have passed since I have set foot in a comedy club. If the comic is doing badly it's painful, and if the comic is doing brilliantly, it's extremely painful.

Only in comedy, by the way, does an obedient white girl from the suburbs count as diversity.

Comedy isn't polite and it isn't correct and it isn't accurate, even. It's just a mess. So that's the way that I approach it.

To me the goal of comedy is to just laugh, which is a really high hearted thing, visceral connection and reaction.

Comedy is much harder, it's a lot more exacting. You can't just be real and you can't just use the same kind of techniques you use to fill up a regular scene.

It's funny how you can go from hating a girl to maybe liking her, maybe liking her a lot, just because she shows a little interest in you.

Comedies are often half-hour programs and then drama and action series are often an hour.

I don't see myself as part of an acting fraternity or a comedy fraternity.

You are a manipulator. I like to think of myself more as an outcome engineer.

Did you know I started out as a stand-up comic? People don't believe me when I tell them. That's how I saw myself, in comedy.

Especially with comedy, you take massive risks because ultimately you're trying to be funny. If you're not funny, then it's really embarrassing and you look stupid.

Beloved King of Comedy.

I'm Here All Weak might be the strangest comedy album I have ever heard. But I've listened twice, which is more than I listen to 90 percent of all comedy albums, so I think I love it?

On the best tactic when playing alongside Kareem Abdul-Jabbar- Just give him the ball.

I was really more interested in dramatic work, but I thought, 'Well, I guess I could do comedy.

America is a wonderful country! I mean it! No honest writer would challenge that statement! The human comedy never runs out of material! it never lets you down!

It's like love making, the foreplay is the biggest part, the same thing as comedy. If you can frame your show in such a way that the funny jokes become funnier.

Hysterically funny, amazingly talented people. That's what I think of when I think of Canada. That, and cold beer. And mountains.

Comedy is an amazing calling. Once you get that first laugh, it's hard to turn away. Then, of course, you're hooked and you have to learn how to survive in the business.

I used to act in college, but always comedy. Didn't do [William] Shakespeare - did Ben Jonson.

Timing and pace are important in any film, whether it be comedy or drama. And how better to learn the fundamentals of these show show business ingredients than by dancing?

The human comedy begins with a vertical smile.

I just draw what I think is funny, and I hope other people think it is funny, too.

Oh come on Pam, they're funny. They're like humans but miniature...tea cup humans!

Comedy can be fun no matter what you're playing small or big comedy part. It always has the potential to be a blast.

I get a lot of flack from critics that my comedies are all over the place, my dramas are all over the place, they're schizophrenic - as if I don't know that!

My comedy is for adults, but you can have your kids listen to it. They won't get all the jokes because hopefully I'm more cerebral than a 10-year-old... but if you ask my wife, I'm not!

I think the things that I enjoy most about directing theater, or works that are really visceral in terms of comedy and have a sort of rock and roll aesthetic.

But it is funny, because I saw Unbreakable recently and it's a strange movie, I didn't mind it, and it's got some interesting things going on.

It's so pretentious, but I believe that with comedy, if you have a good story, 90% of it is casting. Once you get the guys and gals in there, it's pretty easy to make a funny movie.

It's not good for comedy to be like, 'Thanks for liking me'. Being popular is poison.

We had a Judeo-Christian ethic hanging around a couple thousand years that didn't help erase racism at all. So the notion of the little half-hour comedy changing things is something I think is silly.

My mom, she's like Why can't you just do a nice romantic comedy like Jennifer Love Hewitt? And I'm like: Mom, look at me. They just don't put me in those movies.

Comedy is what keeps us alive.