Comedy Quotes

Comedy is underrepresented in every actor's life, because it's so bloody difficult to write.

I want to do drama, light comedy, the whole range.

Good comedy helps people know they're not alone. Great comedy provides an answer.

I had my palm read. I wrote something on it first to see if she would read that too.

My neck and shoulders are killing me. Hard to focus on writing about murder, doom, shagging, our hopeless future & other comedy etc etc.

I did Scottish footballer of the year this year, attempted to do some comedy at that. Not the brightest people in the world. There were seven O-Levels in that room, and they were all mine.

I just want to work with talented people who are enjoyable to be with, and take big huge risks from high comedy to deep, dark, brooding drama, to thriller. I just want to go back and forth.

I guess my height has hurt me as much as it's helped me. In comedy people don't mind casting tall women next to shorter men. It adds to the humour.

The American press is all about lies! All they tell is lies, lies and more lies!

As the purpose of comedy is to correct the vices of men, I see no reason why anyone should be exempt.

The best comedy is where you attack the strong, not the weak.

It's not that comedy has changed in terms of what's funny. For me, it's changed in that sometimes I don't feel my finger is on the pulse.

Well, being a Canadian, I love SCTV, and I think it's the basis for all good North American comedy, so I compare everything to that.

We rest our case on the production numbers.

Comedy is like catching lightning in a bottle.

Of course he did it voluntarily, but he had to do it.

Comedy clubs were something that came to pass in the '80s, but toward the end of that, in the early '90s, people started doing comedy again in alternative spaces.

I'm not good at telling a joke, but I can say a line in a certain way that makes people uncomfortable because they don't know whether to laugh or not, and I love that comedy.

I just don't believe in helping people who are going to torture me. Though I don't see any bamboo slivers. How can you possibly torture someone without bamboo slivers?

Ford Prefect suppressed a little giggle of evil satisfaction, realized that he had no reason to suppress it, and laughed out loud, a wicked laugh.

Intelligent life on other planets? I'm not even sure there is on earth!

There are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad intentions, and wooooords.

Those who knew Lincoln described him as an extraordinarily funny man. Humor was an essential aspect of his temperament. He laughed, he explained, so he did not weep.

Don't go to the circus.

One of the interesting things about comedy is it's tension release, and nothing creates tension faster than anger.

Because there's no way on earth she's going to make it through college unless she grows some serious ovaries and turns this train wreck around

The magician stood erect, menacing the attackers with demons, metamorphoses, paralyzing ailments, and secret judo holds. Molly picked up a rock.

I do not know what it was about that boy but just looking at him, even I wanted to clout him on the head. It was a head that invited violence.

My heart skipped a beat and then flat-out tripped over itself and fell on its face. Then my heart stood up, brushed itself off, took a deep breath and announced: "I want a spiritual teacher.

Whatever you do, in the privacy of your own rain shower, is your own business

How Superheroes Make Money: - Spider-Man knits sweaters. - Superman screw the lids on pickle jars. - Iron Man, as you would suspect, just irons.

He giggled like a puppy being tickled by a kitten wearing a duckling costume.

Why does everyone have to pretend to be stupid and not know long words?

And, you know, I liked writing humor. Well, I should say, I wanted to write seriously, but it kept turning funny.

I don't think of myself as funny - I don't fill up a room with my humor... I would fail miserably as a stand-up comedian.

The Lord turned water into wine. All I'm suggesting is a trip to the grocery store.

Usually comedy is only available to us ladies in the romantic comedy. That's why I hate romantic comedies.

It wasn't that Nanny Ogg sang badly. It was just that she could hit notes which, when amplified by a tin bath half full of water, ceased to be sound and became some sort of invasive presence.

They can't expect anyone to actually pay for a shirt that says, 'I (picture of an elephant) the San Diego Zoo.' What does that even mean?

You know, you're rather amusingly wrong.

To see a man slip on a banana skin is to see a rationally structured system suddenly translated into a whirling machine.

Percy: I thought I’d lost my mom forever, and I was stuck on a hill in a thunderstorm fighting this huge bull dude while Grover was passed out wailing. “Food!” It was terrifying, man.

With a philosophy education, one can infuriate his peers, intimidate his date, think of obscure, unreliable ways to make money, and never regret a thing.

People are funny. They want the front of the bus, the middle of the road and the back of the church. —Mrs. Miracle

Inconvenience in progress, work is regretted.

Michael Palin decided to give up on his considerable comedy talents to make those dreadfully tedious travel shows. Have you ever tried to watch one?

I've gotten very cynical and kind of anhedonic about all the things I have to do to get to do comedy: all the travel, hotels, and airports.

Use that fluff of yours you call a brain.

The bottom half of the page had descended into a doodle of a tiny man giving the middle finger to a giant, angry eagle with razor-sharp talons. Beneath it, the caption: To Mock a Killing Bird.

There is no greater power than that of a laugh and happiness is a force which can save a person from the horrors of the world.