Comedy Quotes

I would feel infinitely more comfortable in your presence if you would agree to treat gravity as a law, rather than one of a number of suggested options.

She smiled smugly. “We came to an agreement, the duck and I.

I make funny shows and put a positive message out there, showing people who have body image issues that... you don't have to look a certain way.

I think if actors don't think of themselves as funny in real life they think they can't do comedy.

I don't think comedy is necessarily an attack. It's finding humour in life. I don't think if you're making a joke about something you're automatically demeaning it.

Besties before testes.

My mother was always the one with the dark, really filthy sense of humor. She was a vulgar woman. She used to tell me to do comedy before I even tried it. She was always up for any gag.

With comedy, if you write something for me, I'm better at it. I'm not sure I'm so good at improvisational stuff.

My whole life I try to make into a comedy, so it would be nice to see that onscreen.

It's always funny until the hooker mentions her son.

I would like to get back to making people laugh. Before drama school, I did nothing but comedy.

I'm just the least funny person in a room full of funny people, which is basically every single day of work for me.

Awkwardness and feeling alienated are always going to be a part of comedy.

I always try to attack the most honest issues I can in my comedy.

Socially, it is funny. People are annoyed because, really who is a clown?.

Executives do not on the whole do well with comedy. They can't understand it, they can't read it, they can't spot it.

Timing is the essence of life, and definitely of comedy.

Comedy is about flaws anyway... There's a lot of humor in the dark areas of life.

Wickedly funny to read and morally bracing as only good satire can be.

Funny how life messed with you.

The secret of writing comedy is to know where it's all going, then get ahead of it.

I’m sort of known in the comedy community as “Smooth Sailing,” just ’cause everything always goes great. I’ve always had success at every turn.

It is funny the things that run through your mind when you're sitting in your underpants in front of a pair of strangers.

What's funny about my group of friends is that none of us ever went to the same school. None of us lived in the same part of town.

They [ The Simpsons] are just like the Bible to me as far as what the high-water mark of comedy.

If you are writing comedy and try to please everybody, you'll please nobody.

I don't want to be a facilitator for other funny people. It doesn't seem smart for me to be in a comedy and not be funny. My spirit can't take it.

With a horror movie, you want to know where the engine of the fear is coming from. Like in comedy, you want to know what the engine that's going to make the comedy - where that's coming from.

Comedy is often about pain.

The whole object of comedy is to be yourself and the closer you get to that, the funnier you will be.

As an actor, when you're doing comedies, you're around fantastic, funny people and you hopefully have a really good time doing it.

I think the world of comedy is a relatively small community, and especially for women in comedy, there just aren't that many people involved.

I was funny -- ha-ha, not peculiar. It was a modest currency, like pennies: pedestrian, somewhat laborious, but a currency nonetheless. I was funny, in public, most often at my own expense.

When I was growing up in comedy, there were maybe 10 comics in the whole country. Everyone had a day job. You worked free for years in little clubs, then you got your big break and became a star.

About the only difference between the poor and the rich, is this, the poor suffer misery, while the rich have to enjoy it.

She's as funny as a toothache

If you don't advertise yourself you will be advertised by your loving enemies.

Tragedy and comedy are simply questions of value; a little misfit in life makes us laugh; a great one is tragedy and cause for expression of grief.

That old question about whether, as a woman, you can be funny and attractive at the same time. Argh! I hate that question. Of course you can.

I've always improvised, and stand-up was this great release. All of a sudden, it was just me and the audience.

President Bush has been silent on Schwarzenegger. Of course, he can't pronounce Schwarzenegger.

I enjoy both comedy and drama, and have had memorable experiences in both film and T.V.

Whether that's an action film or a comedy or a drama or anything in between, I'm willing to prove that I can play with the big boys.

I am so happy because I want more people to like martial arts movie not just martial arts audience. Even martial arts can be used in comedy, in drama, in horror movies, in different kinds of movies.

I'm very open to the up-and-comers.

As soon as I did my first five minutes of stand-up I knew that I would rather be a failure at comedy than a success in marketing.

I had to trick people into giving me money for my first film. Making a romantic comedy is easier and more expected from a woman than it is to make a drama about a Japanese warrior.

Models never say, "I'm hot." They say, "Look at these clothes." Whereas, with comedy, you have to say, "I'm hot."

I realized, dumb people don't know they're dumb. When people try to make me laugh and they try to be funny, that's when they lose me. I find a lot of comedy in honesty.

As I get older, I don't think the world is becoming that funny. Comedy is changing a bit.