Comedy Quotes

Comedy is an ability to observe and see what's funny in a situation and be able to forget yourself enough to do it.

It's funny how some distance makes everything seem small, and the fears that once controlled me can't get to me at all.

Funny that all of Nixon's crimes - anonymous campaign cash, wiretapping, undeclared wars - are all legal now. Discuss.

Most comedy comes out of misery.

I think that no matter how much you don't like yourself or the drama of your life you can still find some comedy in it.

Comedy is the blues for people who can’t sing.

Everyone has their personal topics. My comedy has always been very strong on observational humor, it stems from what I see every day in my life.

You know you must be doing something right if old people like you.

And certainly, the mistakes that we male and female mortals make when we have our own way might fairly raise some wonder that we are so fond of it.

I do like dating cynics - they tend to be incredibly funny.

Comedy and sausages are the two things that if you know how they're made they affect the appetite.

It’s a funny thing coming home. Nothing changes. Everything looks the same, feels the same, even smells the same. You realize what’s changed, is you.

An apple a day, if well aimed, keeps the doctor away.

Cats can be very funny, and have the oddest ways of showing they're glad to see you.

Right now, I'm hankering for new adventures... Ninety percent of the time I'm having romantic-comedy fantasies in which I'm wearing little pencil skirts and hurrying down to the subway.

This world is a comedy to those that think, a tragedy to those that feel.

The kinds of shows that seem to work now, the comedy shows, are those which require very little attention. They’re superficial and I like articulate comedy.

And then also I think it's harder for women because comedy is so opposite of being ladylike.

The politicians say 'we' can't afford a tax cut. Maybe we can't afford the politicians.

When I was a student I was very, very ambitious, completely immersed in my comedy career. I never had that period of reckless hedonism that you should get out of your system in your youth.

I've done for the most part pretty much what I intended - I ended up doing comedy, writing and painting. I've had a ball. And as I get older, I just become an older kid.

We're Mexi-cans not Mexi-can'ts.

It's funny because I think it also goes very well with the show. It has this reputation as being this love city where everyone goes to get married, but when you get there, it's very corny and tacky.

Comedy = tragedy + time.

Failed relationships can be described as so much wasted make-up.

A princess always takes care that her words are honeyed, for she may have to eat them

I don't know about the romantic comedy route, although never say never.

It really seems to me that in the midst of great tragedy, there is always the horrible possibility that something terribly funny will happen.

I like dark comedies. That's why I like the Wayans Brothers.

Fate cast me to play the role of an ugly duckling with no promise of swanning. . . . I have played my life as a comedy rather than the tragedy many would have made of it.

Anyone can write. But comedy, you've got to do some writing. You get one comedy script to every 20 dramas.

My dad grew up basically in a hut in Taiwan without enough food to eat. And within one generation his son in America gets to do a comedy show about whatever he wants.

If you cast really funny, talented people and let them do what they need to do, they're going to hit a home run for you without a script.

We resort, frankly, to pies, which is a comedy staple that's gone back, I guess, to since the first pie was ever baked.

He who hesitates is poor.

All tragedies are finished by a death, All comedies are ended by a marriage.

What's funny is that there's a lot of great Australian actors in American movies but you don't often hear them do their Australian, original accent.

In every case, I find pre-planning noble, but not always that useful in comedy. You know comedy once you're doing it.

It's a funny kind of month, October. For the really keen cricket fan it's when you discover that your wife left you in May.

Do you ever do something, and then think to yourself: That's So Raven?

The man who tries to be funny is lost. To lose one's naturalness is always to lose the sympathy of your audience.

Although according to certain philosophers it is quite difficult to distinguish the jester from the melancholic, life itself being a comic drama or a dramatic comedy.

People either have comedy or they don't. You can't teach it to them.

Nothing is funnier than unhappiness.

Mr. Right is coming, but he's in Africa and he's walking.

Design is a funny word. Some people think design means how it looks. But of course, if you dig deeper, it's really how it works.

You can't really be strong until you see a funny side to things.

The most I can hope for is to die in a pose that confuses future archaeologists.

At once I feel that comedy is this amazing sort of transcendent thing, and I'm also open to the fact that maybe it's just an evolutionary hiccup, something that upright apes do in their free time.

Those of you who are not aware of my brilliant career as a stand up comic, I'm not aware of it either so we might well wonder what we're doing here.