Dark Humor Quotes
You have really nice teeth, ” Terry said and thought they could be excellent for his collection of human body parts.
This isn't where I intended to be. Killing a person has a funny way of getting your life off-track.
I hear they make greeting cards now to thank your therapist... for NOTHING
In 5-billion years the Sun will expand & engulf our orbit as the charred ember that was once Earth vaporizes. Have a nice day.
For 3 million you could give everyone in Scotland a shovel, and we could dig a hole so deep we could hand her over to Satan in person. (on Margaret Thatcher)
What's the whole point of being pretty on the outside when you’re so ugly on the inside?
Moreover, man carries in his heart the desire always to wield his scientific knowledge in service of the greater good. He would of course never use it for destructive purposes. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! ...
Oh get over it Cecilia! You are no longer human. Such decorum doesn’t exist amongst our kind
Rap un zeal' Demon within. I might as well put up a giant 'Come and Get Eaten' sign for the good those warning runes do.
This isn't where I intended to be. Killing a person has a funny way of getting your life off-track. (Dark City Lights)
It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye. Then it's fun and games you can't see anymore.
Knowledge is a rope, and you're weaving a noose out of it. Leave some slack for the enemy.
You are fifty different kinds of twisted.""Only fifty? Val, you wound me.
Oh, precious losing streak, you're too cute for your own good. I try to laugh about itbut my face is made of wood.
If you removed all the arteries, veins, & capillaries from a person’s body, and tied them end-to-end…the person will die.
You still are? There go my plans! And the suit I had bought to attend your funeral. Well, well. Anyway, do call me up when you an't.
Maybe tranquility is the dirt under my nails. I know it's there but I never feel like digging it out.
One hand was behind his back, and he held it out, presenting a bouquet of white and smoky purple lilies. “They’re straight from the underworld, by the way. They are everlasting. They won’t die.
The only thing which really seemed to pay off in life, if you went by Mary Pedersen's example, was sleeping with your superiors.
Your Majesty, ” Durzo said gravely. “A man of your stature’s cursing vocabulary ought to extend beyond a tedious reiteration of the excreta that fills the void between his ears.” - Durzo Blint
Daddy is jive talkingand showering the stripperMommy is sleepwalkingwhile changing baby's diaper
The Angel of Death is always a young person, or a group of young people, you'll begin seeing them left and right soon.
So I heard the boom of my father's rifle when he shot my best friend. A bullet only costs about two cents, and anybody can afford that.
In the beginning there was Logos...and God of course. And it was all extremely boring for Logos because he could never beat God at any game...
Skin color doesn't make you different, ' Melody said. 'We're all the same on the inside.' 'The only people who ever say that, ' Raymon replied, 'are white.
He said, “If God lived on Earth people would stalk his Facebook page and leave nasty comments on his Pinterest site.” Then it sunk in- timing was everything and social media was the devil.
Assassination is an art, milord, and I am the city’s most accomplished artist - Durzo Blint
It would be hilariously tragic if I avoided the rabids, avoided the sun, only to be fried to a crisp on a damn electric fence because I was too impatient.
He was a strange mix of Heinrich Himmler and Barney the Dinosaur.
... a man doesn't like to have his ego popped, especially when he prides himself on his sagacity, and then to be proved wrong by a man who claims he doesn't know anything.
When your past shows up to haunt you, make sure it comes after supper so it doesn't ruin your whole day.
If you have to explain your sense of humor, then you are performing for the wrong crowd.
I had aimed at Mars and was about to hit Venus unquestionably the all-time cosmic record for poor shots.