Ex Girlfriend Quotes

Ex Girlfriend Quote of the day

Dont fight even over girlfriends. The country is full of beautiful women. If you cant get one, come to Mugabe for assistance.

I can make your girlfriend scream louder than you ever could just by pressing her follow button.

Life without you is like a broken pencil, there's no point.

My girlfriend is upset about her new haircut. I don't understand why she's crying. I'm the one who has to get a new girlfriend.

My ex-girlfriend owned a parakeet…oh my god, that f**king thing would never shut up. But the bird was cool.

People often ask me why don't you have a girlfriend. Then I smile and say: I have thousands some just haven't met me yet

The average person is either a weakling, or just a happy person who wants to get along, or thinks being tough is having big muscles and strutting around town and having a good-looking girlfriend.

My girlfriend makes me want to be a better person... so I can get a better girlfriend.

Several girlfriends are easier to handle than one wife.

When your ex says ‘You’ll never find anyone like me’. Say ‘that’s the point’.

I say 'cuz' around Bloods, and I say 'blood' around Crips...I'm twisted. Got Mary, got Lucy, got Molly: that's wifey, girlfriend and mistress.

My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes.

My girlfriend is despicable. I just found out she flirted with my brother, during my mom's funeral, while I was asleep.

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

My bed isn't made, I'm tired, I haven't slept well for two weeks. I haven't been laid in a month. I don't have a girlfriend. I have a warrant for my arrest.

True maturity is only reached when a man realizes he has become a father figure to his girlfriends' boyfriend - and he accepts it

I asked my girlfriend, 'Will you marry me?' She said, 'We'll have to ask my father.' So we had a seance and Jack Ruby says, 'Hello!'

I'm married to football, baseball is my girlfriend.

My girlfriend wants an open relationship. I said no way. What kind of man would I be if I had to tell my friends I date you?

I can always get better. A lot of my ex-girlfriends don't think I'm funny.

Ladies and gentlemen, you can't please everyone. Take my girlfriend - I think she's the most remarkable woman in the world. . . . That's me . . . But to my wife . . .

I'm always looking for a girlfriend.

My world was a community ballet school, a marching band, my two sisters and my girlfriends. I played saxophone in the band and was a bit nerdy.

'Chasing Amy' was an amazing role, but then after that, I went and did 'Big Daddy' and you're the girlfriend or you're the best friend. I wasn't getting the Nicole Kidman roles.

I'm a bad boyfriend. She's a bad girlfriend. We deserve each other.

I ask a lot because I'm very curious - especially about ex-girlfriends. I'm pretty good at getting the answers, too.

I like to think of myself as very loyal, and I love everyone I surround myself with, whether they're friends or girlfriends or whatever.

My girlfriend bought a cook book the other day called 'Cheap and easy vegetarian cooking'. Which is perfect for her, because not only is she vegetarian.

I think my ex-girlfriend has weekly lessons with the devil on how to be more evil. I don't know what she charges him.

Don't leave a piece of jewelry at his house so you can go back and get it later; he may be with his real girlfriend.

When i was 12 all of my friends had girlfriends and i didn't, i felt lonely so i asked my mom to date me.

A girlfriend? No thanks, I'd rather play nintendo and build my lego set!

The marathon is my only girlfriend. I give her everything I have.

Going to radio with a rap record prior to going to the consumer is like having no foreplay with your girlfriend.

You know your girlfriend is too young when she'll do everything in bed but go upside down because it's too scary.

I've spent the past two years looking for my ex-girlfriend’s killer… but no one will do it.

Find out if your girlfriend is a feminist before you get too far into it. Some of them are pretty. They don't all look like Bella Abzug.

In my position, I think the best thing I do is just keep girlfriend involved.

Dying to meet your girlfriends that you said you might bring. If they're the ones that tell you that you do the right thing.

Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet!

I like girls, but I prefer having a girlfriend. I like having someone I can spoil.

Shah Rukh is not my girlfriend that I should remember him. When I don't remember my past girlfriends, what will I remember Shah Rukh for?

Karma is God's girlfriend.

Give a guy a girlfriend and a great job, he doesn’t need therapy.

I will confess I am a great wingman. Since I have a girlfriend, I'll start the night with her, but then I'll help out the guys by making them sound like the most incredible guys in the world.

I'm getting pretty worried. My girlfriend hasn't gotten her period. And she's already 14.

Not every problem someone has with his girlfriend is necessarily due to the capitalist mode of production.

Wives, girlfriends, fiancees - clean out your closets. I'm cleaning out my old bell bottoms. We can touch millions.

For a moment, Percy actually remembered what it was like to be happy. He had an amazing girlfriend. They could have a future together.

If I have a girlfriend, I don’t bring her to flaunt her. She doesn’t get to reap the benefits of me being famous.