Fart Quotes

Fart Quote of the day

Home is where the heart is, home is where the fart is. Come let us fart in the home. There is no art in a fart. Still a fart may not be artless. Let us fart and artless fart in the home.

If I fail, the film industry writes me off as another statistic. If I succeed, they pay me a million bucks to fly out to Hollywood and fart.

We are here on Earth to fart around. Don't let anybody tell you any different.

Love is the fart Of every heart It pains the man when 'tis kept close, And others doth offend, when 'tis let loose.

Don't be more serious than God. God invented dog farts.

Fart for freedom, fart for liberty—and fart proudly.

You can't even trade a single fart with the next guy. Each and every one of us has to live out his own life. Don't waste time thinking about who's most talented.

Farts and poop are still funny and will always be funny.

[To Edward de Vere, Earl of Oxford, on his return from self-imposed exile, occasioned by the embarrassing flatulence he had experienced in the presence of the Queen:] My Lord, I had forgot the fart.

Cumberbatch - it sounds like a fart in a bath, doesn't it? What a fluffy old name. I can never say it on a Monday morning. When I became an actor, Mum wasn't keen on me keeping it.

As pissed as a fart in a vacuum cleaner.

The worst thing a girl could do on a date is fart louder than me.

If I could light my own farts I could fly to the moon or at least Uranus.

I'm only interested in heavy metal when it's me who's playing it. I suppose it's a bit like smelling your own farts.

I tell a lot of fart and poop jokes. I can't help it. I have no filter, and it just comes out.

I have more talent in my smallest fart than you have in your entire body.

Every man knows the smell of his own fart.

Actions defined a man; words were a fart in the wind

My father once told me, and it's stuck with me to this day: As you walk through life, every time you fart it pushes you forward.

I'm into paradoxes. I wanted to make an album about them, but the group told me I was a pretentious fart. They were right.

Atlantic reckoned we should use a top Yank producer and appointed one Eddie Kramer to the post. It turns out the guy was full of bullshit and couldn't produce a healthy fart.

If it doesn't fart or eat hay, she isn't interested.

That has less significance than a dog's fart.

You Know the Most Dangerous Thing In the Water? A Shark Fart.

Since Jesus was human then he most assuredly farted and burped. And if God did create us in God's image then God must fart and burp as well.

You stand out like a fart in a church.

Success is like a fart - only your own smells nice.

Spending so much time on the road, I get to fart all the time. Then when it's, like, Thanksgiving dinner and I'm sitting with my grandmother, I can't fart for, like, two hours.

We're here on Earth to fart around

People dressed in a certain kind of clothing are never wrong. Also they never fart.

She's a warm fart at Christmas.

I'm a fart in a gale of wind, a humble violet under a cow pat.

At my age, you sort of fart your way into a role.

I don't usually fly in first class, but I fart in first class.

Having kids means there's always someone around to blame your fart on.

At one time or another, farts have coincided with every other sound, including this quote.

I'd like to think I'd never do a gratuitous fart joke.

I think I would know Nora's fart anywhere. I think I could pick hers out in a roomful of farting women.

We're being treated to the wisdom of some puffed up, little fart. Doing exactly what I used to do, pretensions to anarchy and art.

I have a pacemaker in, but it doesn't work very well, because every time I fart the garage door opens.

Comedy is there to basically show us we fart, we laugh, to make us realize we still are part animal.

When I was at school I got lines for dropping a big squelchy, loud fart. My teacher, who was a priest, made me write 'I must not fart in class' 100 times. I left that school shortly afterwards.

I know that at one time, the Arctic was the tropics. And I guess I wonder what caused that? Was it dinosaur farts? I don’t know.

I hate dates. I sit at home all day, and I don't fart once. I go on a date and I've got twenty in the bank straight away.

I have a playlist of farts on my phone.

Rock n roll is for the young idiots, not an old fart like me.

If you let go of fart jokes, you've let go of a piece of humanity.

The average pregnant woman farts 15 times that!

I trip and I burp and I fart, like everybody else.

[When] you're dying laughing because your three-year-old made a fart joke, it doesn't matter what else is going on. That's real happiness.