Funny Business Quotes

Funny Business Quote of the day

It's tough to make predictions, especially about the future.

It's better to hang out with people better than you. Pick out associates whose behavior is better than yours and you'll drift in that direction.

I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.

The early bird may get the worm, but its the second mouse that gets the cheese.

I’ll keep it short and sweet - Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.

All things being equal, people will do business with a friend; all things being unequal, people will still do business with a friend.

There is no reason for any individual to have a computer in their home.

Television: The word is half Greek, half Latin. No good can come of it.

Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.

Like almost everyone who uses e-mail, I receive a ton of spam every day. Much of it offers to help me get out of debt or get rich quick. It would be funny if it weren't so irritating.

Get the right people on the bus, the wrong people off the bus, and the right people in the right seats...

I detest life-insurance agents: they always argue that I shall some day die, which is not so.

A company is known by the people it keeps.

Today, there are three kinds of people: the haves, the have-nots, and the have-not-paid-for-what-they-haves.

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?

A meeting is an event at which the minutes are kept and the hours are lost. She should go far. The sooner she starts, the better. The higher a monkey climbs, the more you see of its behind.

Having George W. Bush giving a lecture on business ethics is like having a leper give you a facial, it just doesn't work!

Currently we don't have plans on conquering the world.

Those proud of keeping an orderly desk never know the thrill of finding something that they thought irretrievably lost.

Some folks can look so busy doing nothing that they seem indispensable.

A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.

The tragedy is that Dell didn't win it - we lost it.

The most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage: management.

Football players, like prostitutes, are in the business of ruining their bodies for the pleasure of strangers.

I have always been of the opinion that hard work is simply the refuge of people who have nothing whatever to do.

Yesterday I saw a chicken crossing the road. I asked it why. It told me it was none of my business.

Few great men would have got past personnel.

Big business never pays a nickel in taxes, according to Ralph Nader, who represents a big consumer organization that never pays a nickel in taxes.

Nothing interferes with my concentration. You could put on an orgy in my office and I wouldn't look up. Well, maybe once.

Writing is a funny business. You sit in your room and listen to voices and write everything down. What kind of a profession is that?

We were hoping to build a small profitable company; and of course, what we've done is build a large, unprofitable company.

Business is the most exciting game.

I don't like you two going off on you won. Just remember: behave. If I hear about any funny business, I will ground you until the Styx freezes over.

Why would they have gone to the trouble to hire the best comedy writers in the business to write funny material for us to play straight, if the children in our audience were the only audience.

I love making things, like software, and films, and laughter. And working with Gus Silber, to make the Funny Business book, has been a fantastic journey.

I've never known an auctioneer to lie unless it was absolutely necessary.

Back then, if you had a sore arm, the only people concerned were you and your wife. Now it's you, your wife, your agent, your investment counselor, your stockbroker, and your publisher.

No matter how strong you are, you cannot hold open the jaws of a great-white shark with your bare hands... that can do your brain.