Funny Life Quotes

Funny Life Quote of the day

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

I would challenge you to a battle of wits, but I see you are unarmed!

The most important thing to do in your life is to not interfere with somebody else's life.

I consider myself a crayon... I may not be your favorite color but one day you'll need me to complete your picture.

To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone.

Life is a combination of magic and pasta.

The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took him.

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

Life is a gamble, we scramble for money, I might crack a smile, but ain't a damn thing funny.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.

There's no such thing as addiction, there's only things that you enjoy doing more than life.

Life is just a bowl of cherries, don't take it serious, its mysterious. Life is just a bowl of cherries, so live and laugh and laugh at love, love a laugh, laugh and love.

Planned obsolescence is not really a new concept. God used it with people.

Beware of the young doctor and the old barber.

Life is better than death, I believe, if only because it is less boring, and because it has fresh peaches in it.

You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly, but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly! Ha, ha!

If you can make a girl laugh, you can make her do anything.

Life is not worth living if I cannot have pasta or bread again.

There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure.

Do not worry if others do not understand you. Instead worry if you do not understand others.

Laughing at our mistakes can lengthen our own life. Laughing at someone else's can shorten it.

Everyone smiles in the same language.

Life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves.

Life tells you to take the elevator, but love tells you to take the stairs.

It could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others.

I don't get a chance to be funny with the thrillers. I like to be funny, and I think I am really funny. So with 'Middle School: The Worst Years of My Life', it was fun to let loose.

If you can't do anything about it, laugh like hell.

Know what's weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change. But pretty soon, everything's different.

Life is short, so enjoy it to the fullest.

Life is something that everyone should try at least once.

Selling eternal life is an unbeatable business, with no customers ever asking for their money back after the goods are not delivered.

I live in my own little world. But its ok, they know me here.

My point is, life is about balance. The good and the bad. The highs and the lows. The pina and the colada.

I don't know what to say so I'll just say what's in my heart...badoom, badoom, badoom.

Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats.

The hardest thing about life is that every now and then you have to do things so you have something to tweet about.

Life is short, and it is here to be lived.

It's not the men in my life that count, it's the life in my men.

Life is laughter when seen in a long shot, but it is a tragedy when seen in a close-up.

There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.

So, if you feel a smile begin, don't leave it undetected, let's start an epidemic quick, and get the world infected!

If life is just a highway, then the soul is just a car. And objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are.

Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask why me? Then a voice answers nothing personal, your name just happened to come up.

Probably the toughest time in anyone's life is when you have to murder a loved one because they're the devil.

One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child's name and how old he or she is.

People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.

Life is too short to spend hoping that the perfectly arched eyebrow or hottest new lip shade will mask an ugly heart.