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Funny Life Quotes

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Funny Life Quotes: "I don't like driving very much. That makes me very unhappy, because I scream a lot in the car, but other than that, life is actually pretty good."

I don't like driving very much. That makes me very unhappy, because I scream a lot in the car, but other than that, life is actually pretty good.



Funny Life Quotes: "I'm more financially successful, but it just means the shopping blunders I make are bigger now."

I'm more financially successful, but it just means the shopping blunders I make are bigger now.




Funny Life Quotes: "Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong. -T-Shirt"

Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong. -T-Shirt



Funny Life Quotes: "it's a funny life. Either you don't make a red cent and you have all the time in the world, or else you get double the money and you don't have a moment to spend a penny of it."

it's a funny life. Either you don't make a red cent and you have all the time in the world, or else you get double the money and you don't have a moment to spend a penny of it.




Funny Life Quotes: "Luck is a very thin wire between survival and disaster, and not many people can keep their balance on it."

Luck is a very thin wire between survival and disaster, and not many people can keep their balance on it.



Funny Life Quotes: "At the end of my trial, I was rather hoping the judge would send me to Australia for the rest of my life."

At the end of my trial, I was rather hoping the judge would send me to Australia for the rest of my life.



Funny Life Quotes: "All women are good - good for nothing, or good for something."

All women are good - good for nothing, or good for something.




Funny Life Quotes: "There is properly no history, only biography."

There is properly no history, only biography.



Funny Life Quotes: "There's birth, there's death, and in between there's maintenance."

There's birth, there's death, and in between there's maintenance.



Funny Life Quotes: "Monsieur l'abbé, I detest what you write, but I would give my life to make it possible for you to continue to write."

Monsieur l'abbé, I detest what you write, but I would give my life to make it possible for you to continue to write.



Funny Life Quotes: "If you're funny, if there's something that makes you laugh, then every day's going to be okay."

If you're funny, if there's something that makes you laugh, then every day's going to be okay.



Funny Life Quotes: "Real life is a funny thing, you know. In real life saying the right thing at the right time is beyond crucial."

Real life is a funny thing, you know. In real life saying the right thing at the right time is beyond crucial.




Funny Life Quotes: "Remember, no matter how hard your life is right now, it would be worse if a song by Chicago was playing."

Remember, no matter how hard your life is right now, it would be worse if a song by Chicago was playing.



Funny Life Quotes: "Listen - life is really going on, right now, around us. Do you see it? Sometimes I lose it but if I sit still and listen, it comes back, and then I think, How funny, this is what being alive is."

Listen - life is really going on, right now, around us. Do you see it? Sometimes I lose it but if I sit still and listen, it comes back, and then I think, How funny, this is what being alive is.



Funny Life Quotes: "I do good things in my life, too. It's just that none of them are funny."

I do good things in my life, too. It's just that none of them are funny.



Funny Life Quotes: "I don't think of myself as being funny. But life takes strange turns."

I don't think of myself as being funny. But life takes strange turns.



Funny Life Quotes: "Always do whatever's next."

Always do whatever's next.



Funny Life Quotes: "The gods throw the dice and they don't ask whether we want to be in the game or not."

The gods throw the dice and they don't ask whether we want to be in the game or not.



Funny Life Quotes: "Life is just a bowl of pits."

Life is just a bowl of pits.



Funny Life Quotes: "You know what's funny? I don't ever feel the need to escape. I have a strong marriage. I like my life. You hear about these guys having midlife crises - I don't see that happening to me."

You know what's funny? I don't ever feel the need to escape. I have a strong marriage. I like my life. You hear about these guys having midlife crises - I don't see that happening to me.



Funny Life Quotes: "My goal in life is to be as happy as a studio audience."

My goal in life is to be as happy as a studio audience.



Funny Life Quotes: "Adventure is nothing but a romantic name for trouble."

Adventure is nothing but a romantic name for trouble.



Funny Life Quotes: "I will never deny that life isn't fair. It seems as though when a woman leaves a man she is strong and independent, but when a man leaves a woman he is a pig and a jerk."

I will never deny that life isn't fair. It seems as though when a woman leaves a man she is strong and independent, but when a man leaves a woman he is a pig and a jerk.



Funny Life Quotes: "When mice run, cats give chase."

When mice run, cats give chase.



Funny Life Quotes: "Some people were just getting on with their lives, chatting, being young. It simply wouldn't do."

Some people were just getting on with their lives, chatting, being young. It simply wouldn't do.



Funny Life Quotes: "I don't happen to have a sense of humor personally, so I don't know what's funny about a character... This happens to be a feature of my life generally."

I don't happen to have a sense of humor personally, so I don't know what's funny about a character... This happens to be a feature of my life generally.



Funny Life Quotes: "I can't not find humor in elements of most parts of life, but at the same time nothing ever seems perpetually funny to me."

I can't not find humor in elements of most parts of life, but at the same time nothing ever seems perpetually funny to me.



Funny Life Quotes: "I think all good drama is funny. All the best drama is ultimately very funny. Life is funny. You can't have any honest treatise on life without bumping into some humor."

I think all good drama is funny. All the best drama is ultimately very funny. Life is funny. You can't have any honest treatise on life without bumping into some humor.



Funny Life Quotes: "It was almost funny. Life seemed downright accidental in its brevity, and death a punch line to a lousy joke."

It was almost funny. Life seemed downright accidental in its brevity, and death a punch line to a lousy joke.



Funny Life Quotes: "He has a heart of gold - only harder."

He has a heart of gold - only harder.



Funny Life Quotes: "Life is short. Ricky and I realize how lucky we were. We want to be together all the time."

Life is short. Ricky and I realize how lucky we were. We want to be together all the time.



Funny Life Quotes: "My life is now a constant assessment of whether what's happening in real life is more entertaining than what's happening on my phone."

My life is now a constant assessment of whether what's happening in real life is more entertaining than what's happening on my phone.



Funny Life Quotes: "Life is funny and we are really funny, especially when we get to be hoity toity; we can be so ridiculous. Life is fun."

Life is funny and we are really funny, especially when we get to be hoity toity; we can be so ridiculous. Life is fun.



Funny Life Quotes: "Life is funny, baby, and that's no joke"

Life is funny, baby, and that's no joke



Funny Life Quotes: "Darling, when things go wrong in life, you lift your chin, put on a ravishing smile, mix yourself a little cocktail."

Darling, when things go wrong in life, you lift your chin, put on a ravishing smile, mix yourself a little cocktail.



Funny Life Quotes: "Be excellent and party on dudes."

Be excellent and party on dudes.



Funny Life Quotes: "If I can sell tickets to my movies like Red Sonja or Last Action Hero, you know I can sell just about anything."

If I can sell tickets to my movies like Red Sonja or Last Action Hero, you know I can sell just about anything.



Funny Life Quotes: "When asked "If you could meet any famous person living or dead," I always ask whether the dead person would be alive again when I meet them."

When asked "If you could meet any famous person living or dead," I always ask whether the dead person would be alive again when I meet them.



Funny Life Quotes: "You may be old, you may be in your third act, but you can still be vital and sexual and funny. Life isn't over."

You may be old, you may be in your third act, but you can still be vital and sexual and funny. Life isn't over.



Funny Life Quotes: "I think anyone who's perfectly happy isn't particularly funny."

I think anyone who's perfectly happy isn't particularly funny.



Funny Life Quotes: "I have to tell you the truth. But you are too ugly for it."

I have to tell you the truth. But you are too ugly for it.



Funny Life Quotes: "I love you as I do all - not at all."

I love you as I do all - not at all.




Funny Life Quotes: "The easiest way to remember your future wife’s birthday is to marry her on Super Bowl Sunday."

The easiest way to remember your future wife’s birthday is to marry her on Super Bowl Sunday.



Funny Life Quotes: "To claim that one can never live a positive life with a negative mind is a very negative claim to make!"

To claim that one can never live a positive life with a negative mind is a very negative claim to make!



Funny Life Quotes: "When a female cop pull you over for speeding, to get out of the ticket, talk nice to her, try to flirt or start crying, i bet she will save the ticket for you."

When a female cop pull you over for speeding, to get out of the ticket, talk nice to her, try to flirt or start crying, i bet she will save the ticket for you.



Funny Life Quotes: "The fastest way to end an argument with your wife is to admit she’s right."

The fastest way to end an argument with your wife is to admit she’s right.



Funny Life Quotes: "An inch to a man’s heart is a mile to his wallet."

An inch to a man’s heart is a mile to his wallet.



Funny Life Quotes: "I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married."

I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married.