Funny Love Quotes

Funny Love Quote of the day

If you have nothing but love for your avocados, and you take joy in turning them into guacamole, all you need is someone to share it with.

God loved the birds and invented trees. Man loved the birds and invented cages.

Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache.

Love thy neighbor - and if he happens to be tall, debonair and devastating, it will be that much easier.

Love is a lot like a backache. It doesn't show up on x-rays, but you know it's there.

I love you like a fat kid love cake.

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.

I never said, 'I want to be alone.' I only said, 'I want to be let alone!' There is all the difference.

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.

I love nerds. Comic-Con junkies are the tastemakers of tomorrow. Isn't that funny? The tables have turned

Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you're offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone's feelings.

Love loves to love love.

Life tells you to take the elevator, but love tells you to take the stairs.

The secret of a successful marriage is not to be at home too much.

Love is so confusing - you tell a girl she looks great and what's the first thing you do? Turn out the lights!

Never get married in college; it's hard to get a start if a prospective employer finds you've already made one mistake.

Man has his will, but woman has her way.

Man who stand on hill with mouth open will wait long time for roast duck to drop in.

Funny how the love be fake...but I ain't stressin'. Thankful for the love that's genuine...appreciate the blessin'.

I went to a meeting for premature ejactulators. I left early.

When turkeys mate they think of swans.

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.

I thought I was promiscuous, but it turns out I was just thorough.

Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right.

A man's wife has more power over him than the state has.

Failed relationships can be described as so much wasted make-up.

Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you.

Love is like war; easy to begin, hard to end.

Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing.

I've always tried to be funny, or stupid, or whatever. I love making people laugh and I think it comes quite naturally to me.

I wouldn't be caught dead marrying a woman old enough to be my wife.

In love, somehow, a man's heart is always either exceeding the speed limit, or getting parked in the wrong place.

Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.

A woman in love can't be reasonable - or she probably wouldn't be in love.

You know it's love when you want to keep holding hands even after you're sweaty.

Well, you know, the definition of second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

He who requires much from himself and little from others, will keep himself from being the object of resentment.

You can't make someone love you, all you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in

Respectable people do not write music or make love as a career.

I suppose the latest thing is to sit back and let Mr. Nobody from Nowhere make love to your wife.

On quiet nights, when I'm alone, I like to run our wedding video backwards, just to watch myself walk out of the church a free man.

You know it's love when you want to give joy and damn the consequences.

I don't have a boyfriend right now. I'm looking for anyone with a job that I don't have to support.

You can't put a price tag on preparation for a pandemic.

If you really love guitar, you're going to spend every waking hour stroking the thing.

Love requires a willingness to die; marriage, a willingness to live.

Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you're in.

Like good wine, marriage gets better with age - once you learn to keep a cork in it.

I love Americans, but not when they try to talk French. What a blessing it is that they never try to talk English.

Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one.