Funny Love Quotes

Jesus loves you... He's not 'in love' with you.

We were so young, so in love, and so in debt.

Love doesn't drop on you unexpectedly; you have to give off signals, sort of like an amateur radio operator.

Men aren't necessities, they're luxuries.

The truth is simple, you do not die from love. You only wish you did.

I love sitting down and having actual conversations. But I don't do that sound-bite, be-candidly-funny thing.

I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it?

Hate is funny. Love isn't. Love can kill you. Hate can keep you alive.

Then there was a man who said, 'I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; by then it was too late'

When one door closes, another one opens, but sometimes we wait too long looking at the closed door, and never realize that another door has been opened.

I would love to do something like 'Beverly Hills Cop'. I'd get to be funny and cool and heroic all in the same breath.

Don't be silly. I'll write you twice a week.

I'm doing what I love, and then I get months and months of rest. I have a lot of money for a 21-year-old. I can't stand it when actors complain.

My life acccomplishments? Sanity, and you

I love making friends.... it's people I can't stand.

Playboy stretched his arm, patting Carlos on the back. "Well, you know what they say: If you love someone, let'em go. If they don't come back, hunt'em down and kill'em!

If the Lord hasn't got a boyfriend lined up for me to marry, that's his business.

Every time you try to flirt with her, a puppy dies.

Two days after my dad's funeral, my mom went on a mission. I never understood it until then--that sometimes a spy doesn't need a cover so much as she needs a shield.

Love it when a compelling new character kicks open your mental door, tracks mud across your brain, and props their feet up on your cerebrum.

I think sometimes the stars align whether we want them to or not. And we're drawn to certain people and places for no other reason than...Destiny.

What once were two, are one

I will live in thy heart, die in thy lap, and be buried in thyeyes—and moreover, I will go with thee to thy uncle’s.

Nice costume, " he said. "Ditto. I can tell you put a lot of thought into yours."Amusement curled his mouth. "If you don't like it, I can take it off.

Where does love reveal itself? In beds, sofas, bathtubs – each section of a department store has its advantages.

Friends are like bras, attached near your heart for support. Foes are like panties, deported, every now and then, when they get dirty.

His eyebrows pulled in. “You won’t leave me, right? Even when I’m a pain in the ass?”“I vowed in front of God – and Elvis – that I wouldn’t, didn’t I?

Are you real?” Stupid. Of course he’s real.“Yes, Julie. I’m not the mystical man from your dreams.

I said alone!”He nodded in agreement. “Aye, you usually say that, and I still stay. It’s our way.

If you want more development in your relationship, move to an urban area.

If I could bronze my love, it’d be worthy of a silver medal.

I am the Trolley of Love. Free rides before noon and after 11:58 am!

The only time I hold my wife's hand tightly is when my wallet is in her other hand.

Money can't buy love, except on Valentine’s Day.

Maybe you’re not so bad after all.’He leant across the seat, jabbing his finger in the air. ‘If you tell anyone, I’ll deny it. I have a reputation to uphold, you know.

Oh the wonders of being married. Put a gun in one hand and a woman in the other, I'm never sure who's going to kill me first.

Her mouth set. "I've already lost one man I loved tonight. I will not lose the other." She glared at him. "And curse you, you stone head, for making me say it first.

She’s not ready and maybe she never will be, but I won’t stop trying. I’ll be patient if it kills me. I can just see it now. Cooper Hebert died of blue balls and a broken heart.

You're baking?""Yes.""It's almost midnight.""I specialize in late-night kitchen disasters.

That woman, " Grimm said quietly, "drives me quite insane."Kettle grunted. "Why'd you marry her, then?

In real life, couples bond and war over a million different things. The causes of divorce are like beautiful, unique snowflakes.

There is a lot to learn about love and positions.

Everyone has someone to call on when they're down, let me be that someone when that ones not around.

You should seriously get a job planning dates for The Bachelor.

Jace: Herondale, on the other hand, is melodic. Dulcet, one might say. Think of the sound of 'Clary Herondale.'Clary: Oh, my god, that sounds horrible.Jace: We all must sacrifice for love.

My brain fizzles. The 'this is your brain on drugs' warning, should also issue a 'this is your brain when Jackson Reid looks at you like that, ' warning.

Mom let go of us and leaned back so she could look us both in the eye. “No more spending the night in the tree fort, you two.

Thanks liver... you are a champ!