Funny Work Quotes

Funny Work Quote of the day

The best computer is a man, and it’s the only one that can be mass-produced by unskilled labor.

The secret to success is to offend the greatest number of people.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy - and Jill a wealthy widow.

The elevator to success is out of order, but the stairs are always open.

He writes so well he makes me feel like putting my quill back in my goose.

A good vacation is over when you begin to yearn for your work.

A foolproof plan for not getting a job - show up for your interview wearing flip flops.

Why do people say they wish every day was Friday? If it was always Friday, we'd be here every freakin' day.

Everyone rises to their level of incompetence.

If you want to kill an idea without being identified as the assassin, suggest that the legal department take a look at it.

My mate asked me "What do you think of voluntary work?" I said "I wouldn't do it if you paid me."

If at first you don't succeed, then drag racing isn't for you.

Seeing a murder on television can help work off one's antagonisms. And if you haven't any antagonisms, the commercials will give you some.

I never go about a new project as if I'm trying ot redefine myself. I just like to work, and I'm excited by material I find challenging and - if it's a comedy - exceptionally funny.

I have a roommate, and I signed a year lease. I screwed up! That's like I wrote a joke that didn't work, but now I have to tell it for a year.

Whenever I call a company and get put on hold, I never really feel like I'm being held.

It might be said that it is the ideal of the employer to have production without employees and the ideal of the employee is to have income without work.

I think one of the things I was most interested in finding out was how differently we approached our work. And my reality was that we didn't approach it very differently at all, which was funny.

It gets late early out there.

I've been promoted to middle management. I never thought I'd sink so low.

After you get a job and before you have to do it. Nothing beats that.

If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.

Let us work without theorizing, tis the only way to make life endurable.

A good rule of thumb is if you've made it to 35 and your job still requires you wear a nametag, you've probably made a serious vocational error.

The best way to appreciate your job is to, is here to stay.

I work until beer o'clock.

I'm just the least funny person in a room full of funny people, which is basically every single day of work for me.

What's funny is we were doing some fire at work the other day and it was reminding me of all the firework I got to do as Havok, because a lot of that was as practical as you could get.

You should never protest outside a rich guy's home during the day because he's not there. He's at work grinding the faces of the poor.

There's a fine line between marketing and grand theft.

I like to think my sense of humor is sort of smart and dumb at the same time. I like to work on multiple levels - smart and dumb, funny and sad, profound and mundane, cynical and hopeful.

IT'S funny. It doesn't work the other way round !

It's funny when you put music up against picture, and all your preconceptions go away, and you start over. You just realize that that doesn't work at all.

Labor Day is a holiday honoring those who work for a living. Laborious Day is a lesser known holiday honoring those who cannot stop talking about their work.

Meryl Streep is awesome. I really want to work with Emma Stone; she is adorable. Now I want to work with Octavia Spencer, because I met her and she's really funny.

No one's dream job involves a kiosk.

I do pauses, pauses work for me

I work in a "you scratch my back, and I'll stab yours" kind of a place.

Now I want to work with Octavia Spencer, because I met her and she's really funny.

I used to work at the unemployment office. I hated it, because when they fired me, I had to show up to work anyway.

I am always acting, be at a party, at work or in office. My attitude changes from meeting to meeting, from being serious to intense to funny, depending on who is in the room.