Golf Quotes

Two things that are not long for this world: dogs that chase cars and professional golfers who putt for pars.

A shot that goes in the cup is pure luck, but a shot to within two feet of the flag is skill.

Golf is not a game of good shots. It's a game of bad shots.

On a recent survey, 80 percent of golfers admitted cheating. The other 20 percent lied.

Lessons are not to take the place of practice, but to make practice worthwhile.

You build a golf game like you build a wall, one brick at a time.

Golf is a puzzle without an answer. I've played the game for 40 years and I still haven't the slightest idea how to play.

Watching Phil Mickelson play golf is like watching a drunk chasing a balloon near the edge of a cliff.

If you think your hands are more important in your golf swing than your legs, try walking a hole on your hands.

I think the hardest part about Golf is being committed to your wife

I hate a hook. It nauseates me. I could vomit when I see one. It's like a rattlesnake in your pocket.

If God wanted you to putt cross-handed, he would have made your left arm longer.

I got so strong I felt like a giant.....When I stood on the tee with Arnold and Jack, I was tiny compared to them. But I never believed they were bigger than me. So the mind is so fascinating.

It is impossible to imagine Goethe or Beethoven being good at billiards or golf.

The point is that it doesn't matter if you look like a beast before or after the hit, as long as you look like a beauty at the moment of impact.

A good putter is a match for anyone. A bad putter is a match for no one.

The next time I cry about golf it will only be with joy. It's not worth crying over golf for any other reason. After all, it's only a game.

You have to love something and have a passion for it to be disciplined. My commitment was purely to golf

Age doesn't make a difference either. Whether you're 20 or 70, you can still play together. There are so many different things you can do with golf that you can't do in other sports.

What's the longest walk in golf? It's from the practice tee to the first tee. I don't care if it's 10 yards. It's the longest walk in golf. Winners take their swing with them. Losers don't.

What goes up must come down. But don't expect it to come down where you can find it.

The chief object of every golf architect or greenkeeper worth his salt is to imitate the beauties of nature so closely as to make his work indistinguishable from nature itself.

Show me a golfer who doesn't have a mean streak, and I'll show you a weak competitor.

Eighteen holes of match play will teach you more about your foe than nineteen years of dealing with him across the desk.

You've just one problem. You stand too close to the ball after you've hit it.

Happiness is a long walk with a putter.

The game of golf would lose a great deal if croquet mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green.

If you worry about the ones you missed, you are going to keep missing them.

I feel it's important to be active. People who retire, sit by their swimming pool and golf course and plan to relax have a very empty life.

Everything was fine until I walked on to the first tee!

A pretty girl will always have the toughest time learning to play golf, because every man wants to give her lessons.

You must work very hard to become a natural golfer.

Many shots are spoiled at the last instant by efforts to add a few more yards.

Golf gives you an insight into human nature, your own as well as your opponent's.

Golf is not about the quality of your good shots, it is about the quality of your bad shots.

Keep close count of your nickels and dimes, stay away from whiskey, and never concede a putt.

Golf is the most fun you can have with out taking your clothes off.

A great deal of unnecessarily bad golf is played in this world.

Golf asks something of a man. It makes one loathe mediocrity. It seems to say, "If you are going to keep company with me, don't embarrass me.

In golf, as in life, you get out of it what you put into it.

Duffers who consistently shank their balls are urged to buy and study Shanks - No Thanks by R.K. Hoffman, or in extreme cases, M.S. Howard's excellent Tennis for Beginners.

Nobody but you and your caddie care what you do out there, and if your caddie is betting against you, he doesn't care, either.

Golf. Trying to knock a tiny ball into an even smaller hole with implements ill suited to the purpose.

I read the greens in Spanish, but I putt in English.

It's not whether you win or lose - but whether I win or lose.

I will tell you privately it's not going to get better, it's going to get worse all the time, but don't fret. Remember, we play the ball where it lies, and now let's not talk about this, ever again.

I don't want people to watch the way I dress. I want people to watch the way I play.

In golf, the customs and etiquette and decorum are as important as the rules of play.

I don't want to play golf. When I hit a ball, I want someone else to go chase it.

What abandoned course is that?