Hilarious Quotes
My greatest privilege is being married to a gentle loving husband. I am very grateful God made our path cross.
The majority of boys think the highest form of creativity is weeing a pattern into snow.
The past, the present, and the future walked into a bar. It was tense.
Girls are always complaining that they can never meet a nice guy. Nice guys are everywhere. The problem isn’t that there aren't any nice guys, the problem is that all of the nice guys are ugly.
Anna gave her that disjointed look with which so many people regarded Hannah, as if they has fallen too many words behind to ever catch up.
There are few things more discomfiting than a spontaneous outburst of genuine decency from someone you’re determined to dislike for no good reason.
People change. Sometimes I think they don't know they're changing until it's already happened, though. You get so used to being one person, it's weird when you wake up and everything is different.
Sometimes we have to try on a few different personalities before we found ourselves.
so, what are you in for? MANSLAUGHTER!!! I SLAUGHTERED A MAN!! JUST LIKE A PIG!!! PUT HIM ON A SPIT AND PUT AN APPLE IN HIS MOUTH!!!!
Thats what happens to Snow in Texas, lady. It freaking MELTS!!" Leo Valdez- The Lost Hero
Skul-man!' he exclaimed as he rushed forward to shake his hand. 'Last I heard you were trapped on a dead world overrun by evil trans-dimensional superfiends!' Skulduggery nodded. 'Just got back.
If this is how you feel about a desert, I can't wait until you see your first real tree. Your mind will explode.
Oh, how I longed to burst through the doors and go walking through the streets, with my hands open, like weapons!
The woman at the next table is making eyes at you, ” Lanie said, whispering conspiratorially.“Really? What does she make them out of? Cloth?
It was like bouncing tennis balls off a mystery piece of furniture and deducing, from the direction in which the balls ricocheted, whether it was a chair or a table or a Welsh dresser.
I grunted, hauling the rope hand over hand. A plaintive squeak came from the pulley system with each draw, as if I had strapped some unfortunate mouse to a torture device and was twisting with glee.
I had a fair idea how it felt to get spanked with a large flat surface, and my rump clenched in sympathy.
Most of you Mistborn are probably too proud to crawl. I'm surprised you were willing to do so your
Everybody! This is my cousin right here, and he just dethroned God's gift to Women - Griffin
Ear demons are totally real, " Cody said. "They're what make microphones like these ones work. They're also what tell you to eat the last slice of pie when you know Tia wanted it.
Night descended on Roarhaven like a woolly blanket of blackness with holes in it that were the stars.
Please don't arrest me.""Listen to me, I'm not going to arrest you, ok? I'm not a cop.""Are you sure?""Am I sure I'm not a cop? yes, I'm sure.""You could be undercover.
You promise?""I cross the place where my heart used to be and wish to be even more deader than I am now.
I can't tell you how may beautiful women have broken up with me because they were bored. I can't tell you because it never happened. They all adored me." "It was your humility, wasn't it?
What are we going to do when we get into the temple, anyway? Are we going to fight our way through the Necromancers on our
He forced himself forward trying to seem innocent without acting like someone who was guilty who was trying to act innocent.
He liked murder. Murder and long walks had been two of his favorite things when he was younger.
Will you show me what you really look like? You don't sparkle, do you?
Where will we go?""I hear hell is particularly nice at this time of year.
Forgive me. I continue to underestimate the breadth of your ignorance.
I sprung you because I've got a message for you""doesn't your family own a cell phone company?""only a little one
