Humor Humour Quotes
Try jogging when following your heart, it's healthier
Iron deficiency can lead to a wardrobe full of crumpled clothes
If heaven really exists: then heaven is the job, hell is unemployment, while life is merely an interview.
Nobody wants to give up a weekend-long excuse to dress up and attempt to outshine one another.
I'm so sorry. I think I'm just tired." The socially accepted excuse for being mental.
Skul-man!' he exclaimed as he rushed forward to shake his hand. 'Last I heard you were trapped on a dead world overrun by evil trans-dimensional superfiends!' Skulduggery nodded. 'Just got back.
Without pride, man becomes a parasite – and there are already too many parasites.
It’s late and most of the clerks are at home in their beds, dreaming of swimming in pools filled with real money.
Don’t mock my suggestions, Ridley – one day in the near future, they might just save your life.” Maxwell D. Kalist.
Only men with intelligence, confidence and absolutely no empathy at all can progress upstairs.
To Kalist, Baumauer’s just a timber bridge in need of a good hot fire.
You are a more powerful person than you might have ever imagined.” Maxwell D. Kalist.
Are there not times, Ridley, when you yourself wish only to hear the best in people – and not to be dragged downwards into the underworld we all regularly inhabit?
You can't draw lines in the sand like that. Humour's a tsunami that doesn't care about your little lines.
Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, you will be a mile away from him, and you will have his shoes.
Mike’s brain was hardwired directly into his genitals and most higher functions appeared to have switched themselves off. In other words, he was just like most men.
Every child needs a father. Even if he turns out to be Darth Vader.
HECKLER: Say something funny!COMEDIAN: I don't do requests.
Maple thought optimistically that human beings, on their good days, weren't much dimmer than sheep. Or at least, not much dimmer than dim sheep.
Life is like a one rung ladder, some days you can be on the top and bottom of the world at the same time
Always stay one step a head, unless you’re already there
When I write, it feels like there are two little creatures that sit on each of my shoulders. One whispers, "You can do this. You've got what it takes." The other sounds like my mother-in-law.
I do not do free e-books. I occasionally like to eat that thing you people call "food".
That was when I realised a sad but incontrovertible truth: I was a geek, and there was no getting around it. I could dress in Kate’s clothes, but it didn’t make me Kate.
Just because I'm insane doesn't mean I have to act all crazy.
A camera is just like a woman, as long as you have one of them hanging around your neck....life is just fine
Zane raised his brow. “Didn’t I say that yesterday?” he asked, forcinghimself to be patient. Somehow.“You say that like you think I listen to you, ” Ty responded instantly, asmile pulling at his lips.
A credit card allows you transcend time. For it allows you to put off until tomorrow what you bought today, while you are still paying what you bought yesterday.
A credit card allows you transcend time. For it allows you to put off until tomorrow what you bought today, while you are still paying off what you bought yesterday.
If I don't keep this job, then my only future career-options are working in Argos, or being a prostitute, ' I say, w
It was during Latin that the Austro-Hungarians arrived with their dogs and zombies to kill everyone at the Eden College for Young Ladies.
My first kiss as a single woman. It sent a tingle sprinting down my spine like a tingle panther.
Duke to Michel: I’m fairly certain that even ifyou’d struggle in a quiz against a pigeon, you are capable enough of opening doors.
What are we going to do when we get into the temple, anyway? Are we going to fight our way through the Necromancers on our
Hmmm... that's interesting.""What?""There seems to be a gentleman walking towards us with a shotgun.