Humor Inspirational Quotes

Take the road less traveled...there's less traffic!!!

How can you possibly do everything you want to do in life if you start doing a bunch of things twice?

You can't jump for the stars if your feet hurt. And when you get where you're going, you darn well better look great!

Certainly there are things in life that money can’t buy, but it’s very funny – Did you ever try buying them without money.

You are only limited by your own imagination

If I'll be funnier than this, I'll become a joke.

Seriously, what would you prefer? To stand out from everyone else, or disappear in the crowd? Because I call the latter 'sheep.

-Have a Glass of wine & over time it will be fine.

You gotta want it.

There's no set future, only the one we make.

It is a State of Mind... and am the president

I can say infinite for you to stay, but sadly it only took one from you to break us away and us separate ways

The interior of the arms dealer's private jet was so ugly it hurt my feelings as well as my eyeballs.

A Man who has never lied to a woman has no respect for her feeling.

My MOTIVATION was struggling..I got Tired of it!

If you love somebody set them free- it also works equally well if you hate somebody

You are having a bad day? Remember it could always be worse... It could be me having a bad day!

I prefer noodles when they're raw, they taste just as good, but reward you with a satisfying crunch...

Don't bore the universe.

Don't Believe Everything You Think!

One who is seeking the truth sooner or later finds a woman.

No one can know your strength and weakness better than yourself.

If your self-respect's for sale, don't complain when someone tries to bargain.

He doesn't teach you what to think, he teaches you how to think

I don't care what people say, I mind myself as who and what I am 'cause I'm born this way.

I love really long books because it feels like you are diving into a pool for a very long time.:)

All life is in vain, for Death makes a nonsense of pain.

Life is a beautiful thing. Plant it in the ground, and it blooms into opportunity, capice?

positivity is the father of reinvention

If positivity is not your mindset, then reset

Why one human being is attracted to another is one of the great mysteries of the world.

think think think until you blink

Your boss loves your ideas ... it's you he doesn't care about.

Time heals all wounds. Unless they're infected. Like gangrene. That shit'll kill you.

I'm gonna be percy Jackson when I grow up, " she told Hazel solemnly.Hazel Smiled and ruffled her hair. "That's a good thing to be, Julia.""Although, " Frank said. "Frank Zhang would be good too.

Creative problem solving is not necessarily tantamount to cheating.

When I am old and addled I will make coronets like Cad, that have nothing to do with history, but represent the whimsy and cobwebs in my brain.

Mamma says she is quite certain that "how old is too old?" is not a question known to the Lord.

It's best to locate the mind first before launching the 'missiles of contention'.

Life is like a DVR recording. The story goes on, but you cannot see it until you fast forward through the commercials

Perhaps it is a good thing that we don't live long enough to realize how redundant things seem :)

Ignore people who say you can't do it, even if this person is yourself.

They tell you the devil is in the details…what they don’t tell you is that he’s laughing maniacally.

There are stranger things out there than flying pigs.

Wonders happen either way. With you or without you.

Going mad is the beginning of a process. It is not supposed to be the end result.

Got a bout of doubt? Breathe.

When your in pain you slowly killing your self but when your happy you are repairing the pain that slowly killing you

Yeah, Mel! If she shoves you again, smack her in the face!" bellowed Mika.Kira glared at Mika. "I mean, beat her in the race!

The only way to the top is killing and greed. Okay, I’m kidding. But killing helps.