Irony Quotes

Everything is possible, but where can I find everything?!

I've never written a quote I feel would be suitable for my gravestone. Wouldn't it be ironic if it were this one? Oh, and could you pull a few weeds while you're here?

Some quotes aren't worth typing.

The irony is, nothing is more frightening than being frightened.

I don't understand this irony - valuable things like cars, gold, diamond are made up of hard materials but most valuable things like money, contracts and books are made up of soft paper.

It's just like an alcoholic to think he's doing the Zombie Apocalypse wrong.

I never take out clients. It’s bad policy.” He looked me straight in the eyes as he said it. Reaching across for the glove compartment, his arm accidentally brushed my leg.

Women in love are patheticand I cannot be bothered, for now, I am back to metaphysicsand my armpits gather hair.

Nothing is illegal if one hundred businessmen decide to do it. -Andrew Young, author, civil rights activist, US congressman, mayor, and UN ambassador (b. 1932)

Some skeptics believe religious people are religious because they fear Hell. It's about as fair as saying skeptics are skeptics because they fear the ridicule of modern society.

As soon as you say it about a record, you're like some little zombie in a funny dungeon.

Remember to remember: sometimes your adversary is your biggest asset. Where would David be without Goliath? Jesus without Judas?

Call it Irony or destiny of life, but the fact is I failed to make a living from what 'I loved doing the most' nor did I justify for what I was paid for!

Europe, the land of easy mathematics where he who works adds up and he who retires subtracts. The land where the economy gets to stagger all over the continent.

Thanks, ” Johann finally said. “It’s the irony of war. Those who want to live, die. Those who want to die, live on.

Life, here I come!' he said. And was immediately and fatally run over by a bus.

People are raised to believe that happiness is the land to which they are destined to travel. But that belief, which one so easily accepts as true, might just as well be a mirage.

Without an element of vulgarity, no man can be a work of art...I have to try and think what an artist is, apart from a hooligan who cannot live within his income of praise.

The irony of sensory deprivation tanks is that in order to think outside the box, you must first go inside one.

But what use is the unicorn to you if your intellect doesn't believe in it?

I BELIEVE EVERYONE IS SPECIAL . . . BUT SOME PEOPLE THINK . . . . IT'S JUST ANOTHER WAY OF SAYING NO-ONE IS

Irony alone is damning.The flesh will be bland and you will believe you are forever reading the same book.

An unhappy ending makes it literature rather than romantic fiction.

Personally I know only one person who wrote about utopia. Afterwards he was executed. I suppose it's not my genre.

What must I say, that you don’t know on your own?

The irony is that there is nothing purer than sorrow.

Do we have to say goodnight? It just feels so final.... And then it feels like I HAVE to go to sleep, and then I just can't...

Most people don't know what they want in their life! What an irony their life has become!

Life is biting into a cupcake and finding an eyeball at its center.

No one ever pays to learn the most important things.

The irony of life: Realizing a lifetime is barely long enough to figure out how it should have been lived.

That's the unforgivable sin, you know.""What is?""Refusing to forgive someone.""Refusing to forgive someone is the unforgivable sin?" I asked incredulously.

I don't think irony's meant to synergize with anything as heartfelt assadness.

But who is ever fair in an argument?

The greatest irony is that people with Rolodexes are no longer LinkedIn. And if that pun doesn't make sense, don’t ask anyone in your Rolodex to explain it.

Luckily we don't sleep standing. Who knows where the dream will take us!

How do you like your blue-eyed boy Mr Death?

Often we withhold our affections, waiting first for love to be extended to us. The irony is that we are loved for loving.

Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are a subject to a good many different ailments, but I have never heard of one who has suffered from insomnia.

You can put anything into words, except your own life

My father told me that it is only a mad man that keeps bushy hairs. I asked him, "what about the great men with bushy hairs?". He replied, "education had made them mad, so study to be wise and sane.

If I wasn't a devil myself I'd give Me up to the Devil this very minute.

My mouth was dry. Whispers carried on the wind as the maids around me bunched together in small groups, hysterical, morbid. I thought: who will clean the mess?

In league with being graced by greatness, prepare to be greeted, by all that is beneath you.

It would be the irony of fate if my administration had to deal chiefly with foreign affairs.

Truth is the irony of fate.

Are we not all actors playing parts in another person's play?

He had been trying to measure the distance between the earth and God.

If I wanted to consume something that looks and tastes like dirt, I’d eat dirt, ” I said, “at least dirt isn’t overpriced."~Beans~

She came from the most worthless of classes - the rich, with a smattering of culture.