Jokes Quotes
Some people love but will never marry each other. Some are married to but have never loved and will never love each other.
If we had to earn our age by thinking for ourselves at least once a year, only a handful of people would reach adulthood.
Nothing humbles a beautiful woman better than not being wanted by a man whose girlfriend or wife is ugly (or not as beautiful as she is).
To evade insanity and depression, we unconsciously limit the number of people toward whom we are sincerely sympathetic.
Your relationship or marriage is dead or dying, if you almost always have to remind your partner to miss you (and/or they almost always have to remind you to miss them).
More people would be depressed, if parents tried to please their children as frequently and as badly as children try to please their parents.
Taking good care of your husband or wife is the best way to thank their parent or parents for having taken good care of them.
Many a woman is in a relationship with or married to her man not because she loves him but only because she likes men like him.
One of the leading causes of obesity is the misbelief that, when it comes to juice, ‘100%’ means ‘sugar-free.
Death is number one on the list of things that we wish were possible to leave behind when we escaped barbarism.
Had a cold hummus with pita bread, Under a delicious food, yellow or red. Might just have the appetite to cook Urgent dinner by hook or crook.So that's just a humus humor spread.
Not everyone who has killed themselves because they were HIV positive would have been killed by AIDS.
Whether it is big or small, the size of a poor man’s yard incessantly reminds him that he is poor.
We are sometimes hurt mostly or only not by what happened or is happening to us but by being felt sorry for.
Being HIV positive doesn’t necessarily mean that you are going to die before each and every person who is HIV negative.
We human beings regard ourselves as (or compare ourselves to) animals only when it suits us.
Don't threaten me with a good time.
It was a family joke that Lydia's domestic tendencies were somehow misplaced when she was created.
What the famous big blue Boy Scout told to a green Kryptonite? What?? YOU rock!
Jokes are hilarious only when you take them unreal and dreamlike, otherwise it becomes painful. So I always live otherworldly...
If you are reading this then you have wasted another day of your life day dreaming, rather than planning the life God intended you to live.
Rules for navigating the net, Or people will roll their eye Lest you can't roll the R rect: Literally, don´t dink and dive!
Peace does not walk up to our doorsteps and press the calling bell! We have to go out there and search for it.
If a religious book makes you harbor ill thoughts about those with differing faith, then, you're reading the wrong crap of late.
Hurry, your imaginary heaven is calling you up, my dear holier-than-thou religious nuts.
The right honorable gentleman is indebted to his memory for his jests, and to his imagination for his facts.
I am a kind of joke, but the question is: which kind? My job is to keep everyone guessing.
Or should I say that he is like the hand that is able to scratch your itchy parts with the perfect amount of strength!
A year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I've got a nickle in my pocket.
Dark alleys, like social networks, are romantic, because you never know what might happen while I perform there every Caturday night. Cats do know, but won't tell. So don’t even ask.
A joke is a witticism or play on words that’s meant to be funny. I say ‘meant to be’ because most jokes aren’t funny. They range between mildly amusing and grimace-inducingly annoying.
I had a dream about you last night... we tried to joke but neither could make any sense. We realized that puns are present in every language, though not shared by any of them.
Its crazy when people of high moral standards, feel its okay for an intimate friend to insult them in a jovial way, forgeting that even casual friends can do just the same in a jovial way.
A man does not become a real man by showing his physical domination over women. A man becomes a real man by loving, respecting and protecting women.
Some jokes are stupid and useless, if you can't get it. It's to stupid to go in it, but whatever!- Make your choice!
One of the greatest gifts in this world is the ability to make others smile. - The Unauthorized Autobiography of Jonathan Fisher
Of course I love you. For real. I will sure come and personally meet you myself. Just to make sure you're well. When is your funeral?
Jokes against the legal profession were what the legal profession loved most.
You know you’ve reached the end of a relationship: when your lover now demands that your jokes be funny before they laugh.