Kids Humor Quotes
Kids Humor Quote of the day
Yesterday I accidentally hit a little kid with my car. It wasn't serious — nobody saw me.
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
Doctor just told me I can't have kids. I asked for a second opinion. He said, Why? No one's gonna to let you take kids from this hospital.
Be sure to lie to your kids about the benevolent, all-seeing Santa Claus. It will prepare them for an adulthood of believing in God.
We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.
Look! A trickle of water running through some dirt! I'd say our afternoon just got booked solid!
The last time I saw African kids this excited, Madonna was at their school with a net.
I am charging you with the protection of my mother and friends, not to mention keeping my younger self off the Internet. He is as dangerous as Opal.
When I was a kid, I went to the store and asked the guy, Do you have any toy train schedules?
Oh, when I was a kid in show business I was poor. I used to go to orgies to eat the grapes.
Thank God she doesn't have to be confirmed by the Senate.(on the birth of his granddaughter)
Georgie, stop trying to resurrect the shoes. They were never alive in the first place.
Kids are baby goats. They're cute and they have redeeming social value. You are definitely not kids.
I had a paper route when I was a kid. I was supposed to go to 2,000 houses. Or two dumpsters.
When I was a kid I had a friend who worked in a radio station. Whenever we walked under a bridge, you couldn't hear what he said.
How do you know if you don't measure if you have a system that simply suckles kids through?
I always had to rely on humor and sarcasm. And when I started having kids, that doesn't work with kids. Kids don't understand sarcasm, and they certainly don't understand my humor.
To the champ, everything is serious business. I'm hoping that he'll live long enough to learn that in this world that is a very dangerous attitude.
Poor woman! She probably thought change of air might agree with many of her children.
When I was a wee little kid, " remarked Roic, watching over their shoulders, "there was a time I thought that any skinny old man I saw was my grandfather. It was pretty confusing.
The dog growled again, long and ferocious. The hair on my neck tingled.And just when I knew he would attack, a horrible scream split the air, and Darlene passed out and fell over on her side.
everything is negotiable. everything.
Lollipop had been her nickname for me as long as I could remember. I asked her how she came up with the name, and she told me sometimes kids are sweet, and sometimes they just need a good lickin'.
All we can hope for is that he will fall into the ocean with a bar of soap in his pocket.
It's tough being AWESOME all the time, but the kids need someone to look up to!
This is why we can't have nice things...
I hang around kids so people will assume when I act like one it's because I'm babysitting.
Cleaning with children in the house really is like brushing your teeth while eating Oreos.
Some people ate less food less often when they each had a home than they now do as hobos.
