Last Night Quotes

Last night I had a dream. When I got to Africa, I had one hell of a rumble. I had to beat Tarzan's behind first, for claiming to be King of the Jungle.

Little old lady got mutilated late last night, werewolves of London, again.

Tied one on last night. Not feeling great this morning. I was trying to sleep it off, unfortunately, it was on the casino floor.

I met my old lover on the street last night, she seemed glad to see me.

Don't worry about yesterday it ended last night at midnight.

The average millionaire can't tell you who got thrown off the island last night.

Last night the United States dropped four 2,000 pound bombs on Saddam Hussein. I don't know anything about explosives, but, my God, do those things even need to explode?

I am so addicted to crystals, it’s like a sickness. I’ve spent $500,000 on crystals this year. I checked my bank account last night, and I have $203 left.

People don't buy a new detergent because the manufacturer told a joke on television last night.

I had a dream last night that a hamburger was eating me.

The health care reform legislation passed by the U.S. House of Representatives last night clearly violates the U.S. Constitution and infringes on each state's sovereignty.

Arguing with the girlfriend. Mid argument she says "Were you on Monday night Raw last night?" I had no comeback.

Last night I woke up with someone squeezing my hand. It was my other hand.

The whole world is a dream; even this (the waking state) is a dream ... What you dreamt last night does not exist now.

Yes, I answered you last night; No, this morning, sir, I say: Colors seen by candle-light Will not look the same by day.

Last night my teacher taught me the lesson of Poverty: Having nothing and wanting nothing.

I took the wife out last night; one punch!

Treat it like your last night. Even if you broke, spend tonight like your cash right.

The last night of love, the first night of war

It's superb, definitely. Something that is new to me, that is shocking. I got the news last night about 3 in the morning, and I don't think I even went back to bed.

Camping in the backyard last night for Father's Day! Wrestling, stories, s'mores...it was awesome!

Last night I learned how to be a lover of God. To live in this world and call nothing my own.

Last night I neglected to mention something that bears repeating.

Last night I dreamed of a small consolation enjoyed only by the blind: Nobody knows the trouble I've not seen!

No Roman ever was able to say, 'I dined last night with the Borgias'.

Then take me on your knee, mother; And listen, mother of mine. A hundred fairies danced last night, And the harpers they were nine.

I made observations for three hours last night, and am almost ill today from fatigue; still I have worked all day, trying to reduce the places, and mean to work hard again tonight.

Failing is an event, not a person. Yesterday ended last night.

I read the book of Job last night, I don't think God comes out well in it.

I didn't know you would be here last night, but you were. We can't fight fate. Instead, we must accept that fate has given us a special opportunity.

I'm very surprised - midway through my second glass of red wine last night, I really didn't think I'd be standing here with a trophy in my hands.

Congratulations to each and every one of you for the concert last night in New York and vice versa.

My wife had a go at me last night. She said, Youll drive me to my grave. I had the car out in thirty seconds.

Last night I was struggling with a stomach ache, but [the trainer] gave me some medicine, an IV and I felt good out there today.

All the plants in my house are dead - I shot them last night. I was teasing them by watering them with ice cubes.

The Queen has been guillotined, accused of crimes beyond imagining. Last night she appeared to me in a dream, handing me her head.

I met my old lover on the street last night. She seemed so glad to see me, I just smiled. Then we talked about some old times and we drank ourselves some beers, still crazy after all these years.

The sense of a long last night over civilization is back again.

I was born at night, but not last night.

Always wake up with a smile on your face, because a lot of people who went to sleep last night are not with us this morning.

I'm so fat and I'm so depressed; last night I tried to hang myself - but the rope broke.

I wake up and check my Instagram to see what I missed out on last night. Then I check my Twitter. Then I check my Tumblr.

I went out with a girl last night. She wasn't a Lana Turner. She was more of a stomach turner.

I have to tell them that last night was a shameful train wreck filled with blind cuddly puppies.

I dreamed I was buying new shoes last night," said Ron. "What d'ya think that's gonna mean?" "Probably that you're going to be eaten by a giant marshmallow or something," said Harry.

Last night, two men tried to force my shutters. I recognized them: they are two of Rodin's Italian models. He told them to kill me. I am in his way; he wants to get rid of me.

The Brooklyn Dodgers had a no hitter last night.

You noticed from last night, we only did two from the 80s. And our set's two hours long.

I heard an angel speak last night/And he said, "Write!"

Y'know, you can't please all the people all the time... and last night, all those people were at my show.