Last Night Quotes

I'm afraid I did not pray hard enough last night.

Last night at Carnegie Hall, Jack Benny played Mendelssohn. Mendelssohn lost.

She is more beautiful than I have words for. And last night, I was blessed beyond measure to serve her.

CeNation. Wwe reports that last night at approximatley 9pm est. It terminated its contract with cousin of john cena, juan. The wwe wishes juan the best of luck in his future endeavors.

Last night, I had that dream again. I dreamt I had to take a test, in a Dairy Queen, on another planet.

I don't go out that much anymore, unfortunately. I used to enjoy it, but I'm just so busy. Like last night, everybody else went out, and I just went straight home and went to bed.

In 27 years doing this, I've seen a handful of truly great, masterful standup sets. One was Tig Notaro last night at Largo.

Nowadays people think that history is what was on TV last night.

Y'know, you can't please all the people all the time... and last night, all those people were at my show.

I pray thee let me and my fellow have a haire of the dog that bit us last night.

I went to this restaurant last night that was set up like a big buffet in the shape of an Ouija board. You'd think about what kind of food you want, and the table would move across the floor to it.

New Jersey Mayor Corey Booker last night personally rescued a woman from a burning building. Or as Fox News reported it, 'black man loots house, steals white woman.'

Ask yourself: What did I eat for breakfast today? What did I eat for dinner last night? You see how fast reality fades away?

Last night we had Bill Clinton, the former president. Security was as tight as Governor Christie's yoga pants.

After watching Watford against Manchester City last night that was like a bubblebath. It was beautiful.

From last night's All Together Now, a Celebration of Service: There can be no definition of a successful life that does not include service to others.

I need a dog pretty badly. I dreamed of dogs last night. They sat in a circle and looked at me and I wanted all of them.

Bubba shot the jukebox last night, said it played a sad song and it made him cry.

I'm an ice sculptor. Last night I made a cube.

David Mamet, Tim Kazurinsky, and Denise DeClue, who adapted [ About Last Night]. Between the three of them... I mean, it's always down to the writing. You're only as good as your writing.

From the look of us, you'd never know we slept in the same bed last night and made out like the world was going to end if we stopped.

Late last night and the night before, tommyknockers, tommyknockers knocking on my door. I wanna go out, don't know if I can 'cuz I'm so afraid of the tommyknocker man.

What were you two doing last night, discussing the national debt?

Last night I dreamt that somebody loved me. No hope, no harm; just another false alarm.

So I lied to you last night. I said that I just wanted one night with you. But I want every night with you.

Last night I'd made love to a woman for the first and last time. It had been amazing and I had a memory that would shape the rest of my life.

Last night I fled until I came To streets where leaking casements dripped Stale lamplight from the corpse of flame; A nervous window bled.

It's all about what you feel on the inside - and I'm feeling like a chocolate chip cookie because I had about ten of them last night!

Last night as I was sleeping, I dreamt - marvellous error! - That it was God I had here inside my heart.

I fainted last night! Luckily I was going to bed at the time so I didn't get hurt.

I looked to the window. Patch was gone, but a single black feather was pressed to the outer pane, held in place by last night's rain. Or Angel Magic

Last night I didn't realize I said "abortion" in my stand up comedy act instead of "circumcision." No wonder I got blank stares at "rabbi got faint at sight of blood."

We're doing fine. The fire is no closer today than it was yesterday or the day before. They expected or feared very high winds last night, and they didn't get them.

Just a reminder, if you tell anyone about what happened with Jonah last night, I'll destroy all of my writing and never play music again.

Last night I danced with a stranger, but she just reminded me you were the one.

It doesn't matter what happened last night or the night - or tomorrow night. It's all about what you're doing with this audience right now.

Hi, I'm one of the knife-carrying hooligans you met last night in Pandemonium? I'm afraid I made a bad impression and was hoping you'd give me a chance to make it up to-" "SIMON!

Trump University is just one of the many lines of attack that were opened up last night, giving a preview of what's to come in the general if [Donald] Trump is indeed the Republican nominee.

All the major networks declared Barack Obama the winner at 11 last night, except for MSNBC, which declared Obama the winner six months ago.

In his press conference last night, President Bush said he could not remember a single mistake he had made in the last two years. The president's exact quote was: 'I ain't make none mistakes ever.'

Last night on the show I had Olympics fever. Unfortunately, it's getting worse. That's not good. I have to call my doctor if my torch burns for more than four hours.

I work with the president almost on a daily basis. I was with him until 6:30 last night. I'll be with him Thursday morning. We talk every day.

The coyotes made too much noise last night and kept me awake. Please eradicate these annoying animals.

How many people saw Arnold's speech last night? I haven't seen that many Kennedys in one place since their last trial.

If that had been my last show last night, you'd be talking to the new guy, asking the same questions that I got.

When telling a story about how wasted you were last night, stop.

There were two second division matches last night, both in the second division.

I teleported home last night with Ron and Sid and Meg Ron stole Meggy's heart away and I got Sidney's leg.

Last night, I was on the threshold of hell. To-day, I am within sight of my heaven. I have my eyes on it: hardly three feet to sever me!

I think it's important here to keep something in mind. I mean, when you're looking at last night and you see Matt Lauer unable to tell [Donald Trump], "Hey, you know what? You're lying here."