Life Humor Quotes

More often than not, you will never be judged by your intentions because the world can't read minds and very few will know the heart of a person they have not given time to know personally.

If you love three people at the same time, choose the first one, because if there was a 4th or 5th one, you might still fall for them.

Stab me if you can enjoy it - but not if it feels like a duty. Stab me vertically if I’m lying down and horizontally if I’m running

I’ve been living on the edge for so long, my friends call me Cliff

If he's like any other man I've ever met, it's not my smile he's going to be looking at.

See. I told you I would get that boy to the alter eventually. All I had to do was pretend I was a loon.

When you know better, you do better!

If people were Superior to Animals, they'd take better care of the world

world is hell!make it heaven if you have pure strength.

you are responsible for you own happiness

Life is way too short to get lost, so follow the script the way it comes and keep changing the checkpoints on every page.

Whats on my mind? I think the question is, where is my mind?

Life in this village is like that of a louse hanging on to a wrinkle in a loincloth.

Let go of the people who dull your shine, poison your spirit, and bring you drama. Cancel your subscription to their issues.

There is a meaning of life but I've been sworn to secrecy.

You can't lead when you have not been loaded with the skills of immagination.

The night before a deadline, I usually am in desperate need of a back rub. And new wrists. And candy. And little mice to secretly finish the job while I am sleeping.

Make everything an adventure. Otherwise, it will suck.

I guess it's funny how life turns out?" she tried. "Not last I checked, " Errol said with a snort.

Dangerously close to having to work for a living.

There are as many kinds of anger as there are of the sunsets with which they ought to end.

My MOTIVATION was struggling..I got Tired of it!

If every one of you was to clean before his own front door, all would be clean of cow flops.

Am I afraid of ghosts? My life experience has taught me to be much more afraid of what a human is capable of in broad daylight than what a ghost is capable of at night.

Emma, okay, enough with the singing. Mommy's getting a three-pill headache.

I just inhaled kimchi ramen. Nose on fire. Next chapter may be obscured by tears.

When you don't fit in anymore, eat less.

1337% of Pi ≈ 42

My identity is not it, which given by the community. my identity is my natural mask.

Don't Believe Everything You Think!

Most creatures run when they sense danger. People grab a six-pack and a folding chair.

Try jogging when following your heart, it's healthier

I smile more when people confused, why he is smiling.

The departed souls shall never return.

No matter where you go, there you are.

Don't make me come down there. - God

Being a Falconer is about saving the buggers even if they don't deserve it." - Farlan MacNeil

People who do not eat butterflies will wear their clothes the wrong way, and people who wear their clothes the wrong way are inviting lemmings inside." -- Muzhduk the Ugli the Third

Sometimes your own tongue can make you deaf and dumb.

A clear conscience is due to a poor memory.

In life things are only free after you've paid for them.

I take very few people seriously, and I'm not one of them.

One: Don't play leapfrog with elephants.Two: Don't pet a tiger unless his tail is wagging.Three: Never, ever, mess with the Ladies Auxiliary.-Mayberry Rules for a Long, Happy Life

Extroverts communicate well with others, Introverts communicate well with themselves

When I die cremate me so I can finally fit into something small.

Rich in Happiness is about choosing new perspectives, new habits, and a new emotional future.

One of the perils of life is to be asked a question which the wisest of them cannot answer. But a smile does the job.

Life is mean! Don't lose your humour jacket. You'll really need it.

It's almost never the kind of person you are but the kind of job you do decides how much you get paid.

Yes, life is hard, but it's not a bad way to pass the time. When all is said and done, I recommend it.