Life Humor Quotes
Fill me in on the details of your life.”“I thought you didn’t give a shit.”“It’ll give me something to do while I wait for you to stab me to death.
Oh, God. Not again.”Not again? “Do you make a habit of driving into people’s houses?
Sometimes you feel as though you've slandered yourself, but the joke's on them.
Do short people reach their full potential quicker?
people don't generally believe themselves to be evil. Just strong. And they think that the world owes them something
Coincidences are like unicorns.you can believe in them all you want, but that doesn't make them real
One very important key to maintaining our daily sanity is a simple scheduling tactic I call Putting Things the Hell Off.
Life is like a double-blind experiment. And the Observer is the only One in on the Know.
The truth about life is complicated, indefensible and embarrassing.
Life is like a one rung ladder, some days you can be on the top and bottom of the world at the same time
Always stay one step a head, unless you’re already there
Some days being a writer consists of telling yourself you aren't insane, your characters are.
Well-developed characters will ruin your writing plans every time. You may think you know where you're going with a story, but they have other ideas.
There are as many ways to discover your story as there are to trip over a dog in the kitchen--and some of them feel about as planned.
When I write, it feels like there are two little creatures that sit on each of my shoulders. One whispers, "You can do this. You've got what it takes." The other sounds like my mother-in-law.
...writing Jeeves stories gives me a great deal of pleasure and keeps me out of the public houses.
Ignore people who say you can't do it, even if this person is yourself.
I spent the afternoon musing on Life. If you come to think of it, what a queer thing Life is! So unlike anything else, don't you know, if you see what I mean.
Masturbating the meaning of life since 1987. #lovewithmeneverdies
Eternity is not a super-abundance of time, but timelessness.
The history books which contain no lies are extremely tedious
How is it that standing outside for a minute in 90 degree heat is torture, yet standing in a blistering hot shower for 20 minutes is paradise?
Confession was the emotional equivalent to puking, Riley supposed. Something bad went down, bits of it came back up, you felt better.
Would any of you like to share your career aspirations within the class? Jim?I dunno, to be honest, I was just hoping to be able to keep the demons away...
It's all about money, not freedom. You think you're free? Try going somewhere without money.
People were meant to be loved, Things were meant to be used, the world is in trouble for many use people, and love things. Let get it right folks.
I stepped forward as commanded, wondering which of the many rules I had broken now.
One of my father's RULES FOR LIFE was to marry a woman who was smarter than you. "I did this, " he would say to me, "and you should do it, too. I say, why do all the thinking?
Even God forgives stupidity. So many married people, heaven would be a ghost town otherwise.
Moderation is the key to old age and the doorway to boredom